Porn Valley- Before Hannah Harper came on as guest on The Wanker Show, Monday night, co-host Tyler Faith was doing a Sophia Rossi riff.

“I love her,” said Faith. “She’s so Jill-like, her body, her tits. I love Jill [Kelly]. Jill’s my ultimate fucking female. That is the walking Barbie doll of the fucking century. But I don’t look at her like that. It grosses me out. She’s like my sister. We slept together every single night.” Wankus acknowledged that during the course of his relationship with her, Faith has harbored a fantasy of him fucking Kelly: “Fuck Jill, Wankus…take his cock, Jill!”

But Faith said if that were to happen in real life, it would gross her out.

“How about Hannah Harper?” Wankus asked. “Would it turn you on if I fucked her?” Faith said it would.

As Harper got introduced, Faith said she brought a movie of Harper’s to sign.

“Did you squirt milk out of your pussy?” she asked Hannah. Harper said she did and it was explained to be a Sin City movie called Blond Factor modeled on The Stepford Wives. Faith wound up being on the box and even Wankus was curious why, noting that Harper was the star of the movie. Harper said she had been on too many boxes in the last few months and that’s the reason.

Wankus also mentioned that he and Faith spent some time over the weekend in Denver with Harper.

“We were lubed up, ready to go, drunk off our ass, and we still didn’t get her- how does that happen?” On another note, Harper said she had Sodom 3 coming out directed by Jim Powers. The subject then got on to the fact that Harper’s been seeing one of the owners of wantedlist.com for about a year. Harper was at the recent Temptation Awards and talked about some of the gaffes that occurred during the show.

“No matter how unorganized they were,” said Wankus, “they were ten times better than the XRCO’s.”

“It was better than the XRCO’s and AVN- I’m sorry,” Faith added. “It was fun. It was a formal sit-down dinner which they don’t give you at AVN. They claim in all the years I’ve been there, there is a buffet. I haven’t seen it.” Wankus said that it was in the corner.

“You know what I’ve seen in the corner is people hanging from fish hooks,” declared Faith. “That’s all I’ve seen. You’ve never seen people hanging from fish hooks in the corners at AVN?”

“Matt Zane is there?” asked Wankus. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’ve seen a lot of girls in the corner asking for meth. That’s the only thing I’ve seen when I’m over there.” Wankus brought up Cindy Crawford and Faith recalled that Cindy was up for best performer a couple of years ago.

“Of course she didn’t win it,” Faith continued. “Come on- hello? She was, like, oh my God! This is worse than when my mother died!”

“Worse than when your mother died? What the fuck kind of childhood did you have?” Wankus laughed. “Was she born in a dumpster? Wait- that was a whole other thing.”

“Allegedly she threw a baby in a dumpster,” Faith said, repeating an apocryphal Cindy story.

The subject getting back to Harper, Hannah noted that she’s supposed to be directing Assploitations 7, thus taking over the series from Aurora Snow and Ariana Jollee. Asked if she was up to following in their footsteps, Harper repeated an e-mail that she got from a fan to the effect that her ass now gapes like a champion.

“Do you gape like a champion?” Wankus wanted to know.

“Apparently,” Harper laughed.

Faith thought that maybe Harper should teach her some ass tricks.

“I don’t think there are any,” said Harper.

“I can’t even do anal on film,” Faith confessed. “It’s bad.”

Faith said she’s done two anal scenes and in on she was fucked up.

“You got nailed every which way but loose,” Wankus observed. Faith said the other scene was looped and that they did great looping at JKP.

“I will admit I have taken pipes in my ass but not on purpose,” Faith continued. “I would love to do anal especially for Team Tyler, and I’m just so…”

Faith told Harper that if she had any tips or pointers on anal, she was open for it.