Porn Valley- After he wrapped up his scene with Angelica Sin Saturday morning, Dick Delaware’s on the phone with Erika Lockett. Presumably, Lockett walked off with Delaware’s ID’s. Buster Goode who’s scheduled for the next scene is saying this is one guy whose ID’s you don’t want to be walking off with, especially to fuck with him.

Delaware remembers a time he and Buster were talking a walk along the convention floor at AEE and Buster eyes this stacked blond. Buster’s telling Delaware that he’s going to take a shot then discovers this is a transvestite.

Earlier that morning, Delaware’s at John Wilkes’ studio, and he’s scheduled to work with Lockett in a MILF movie for Rob Spallone.

“Old lady movies sell big,” say Spallone. But Richard Montfort, who’s taking over the directing chores today for Henri Pachard knows from his own experience that women tend to get highly insulted if you tell them you’re booking them in a MILF movie. According to Montfort, Pachard’s the true pornogapher with creative impulses that are truly awe inspiring. Montfort recalls a set-up in one movie. It’s a crime scene and there’s a crime scene chalk outline.

“Pachard has the male lead, who’s bummed out about his dead girlfriend, fucking the chalk outline,” Montfort recalls. “This was a poetic moment in an industry devoid of poetry.”

Another time during a fat lady gangbang, Montfort recalls Pachard keeping the cameras rolling as he’s interviewing a 500-pound woman who’s jumping up and down in a fit claiming that someone stole her $2 bill. Pachard’s trying to offer her two $1’s to appease her. She ain’t buyin’ it.

Meanwhile Dick Delaware’s hardly in a mood for rhyming couplets. He’s with a buddy of his named Larry and makes the introductions. He says Larry’s some kind of legend in the motorcycle game and has beaten Evel Knievel’s jump records. Delaware describes how he and Larry were having a conversation about the various grades of Hep-C, when Lockett apparently volunteered on her own that she’s been Hep-C positive for 20 years. Lockett says even AIM has on record that she’s Hep-C positive.

Doesn’t make a difference as Delaware’s face loses its pallor. He tells Lockett, sorry, he can’t work with her. Later, as he’s waiting for Angelica Sin to substitute for Lockett, Delaware, although his paperwork has already been done, discovers his ID’s are gone.

It’s suspected that his and Locketts were sitting on a table together, and that she apparently picked his up with hers as she left the studio. As he attempted to call Lockett, Delaware was already expecting to make a beeline to the DMV to get the matter resolved. He figures Lockett’s already ditched his ID’s by now.

Before any of this hep-C drama comes to a head, Wilkes is taking me on a tour of his studio. It’s filled with cool shtick from mainstream movies. Wilkes points out these matching antique-looking outdoor building lights, observing that they’re from the film, Seabiscuit. An hydraulic apparatus is from Alien. A huge colored tube whose end use is still suspect, comes from a McDonald’s playground. Ray guns hail from Starship Troopers. And this isn’t counting costumes which have their own theatrical history, like Water World and Blade 2. Wilkes is explaining that Delaware and Lockett were going to do a scene with him playing a pizza man. The elaborate prop is a pizza box. But that idea is short-lived with the exit of Lockett as Delaware morphs into a UFC fighter-in-training which pisses off his replacement girlfriend, Sin.

Montfort, the dark cloud of love, [so named by Skeeter Kerkove], is calling me Luke. I call him Jim Holliday, and this triggers something that Wilkes remembers about Holliday’s sets and how Holliday liked his scenes over lit with 2K’s.

“Shadows make the scene,” says Wilkes who obviously didn’t agree with Holliday’s theories of lighting to the contrast of an operating room. The subject gets on to industry deadbeats. Spallone and Montfort have their Ben Fisher stories. Montfort says he knew going into a project one time that Fisher was going to fuck him.

“I just wanted to see how he did it,” muses the dark cloud. “If I wasn’t afraid of going to jail, I’d go after him with a baseball bat.” Montfort says Fisher apparently also fucked Pachard out of dough and that Pachard’s never forgiven him for it. He recalls another instance where Fisher supposedly took some female talent for money, and she sent Tony Eveready after him.

Spallone just says Fisher is famous for getting money up front to shoot movies then never shooting them. I bring up a series that John T. Bone is writing on his website, www.johntbone.com about getting fucked in the business. Spallone recalls when he sub-leased an automobile to Bone who apparently returned the car with $9,000 dollars in damages after the lease was up. Spallone says he had to take the car over to Joey Buttafuoco’s garage to have it fixed.