Pascagoula, Mississippi- The Interlandis- Robert and Paul- have been on the Interstate driving back to Vegas from Miami Beach. They had attended Exxxotica Miami on behalf of Arrow Productions, and wowed the crowds with mechanical bulls, a sexy yellow Corvette and scantily clad Deep Throat girls, www.xxxdeepthroat.com.
But there was no love for the Interlandis once they hit Pascagoula, Mississippi, where their road adventures turned into something between Deliverance and Borat.
“I can’t even pronounce the name,” Robert Interlandi tells me, laughing. “It was this little town. We stopped at the Holiday Inn to get a room. We get there and pull up with the Deep Throat car, and I’m wearing a shirt that says ‘I choked Linda Lovelace.'”
Interlandi also had to check to see if there was trailer parking, otherwise this would be a problem with the Corvette and mechanical bull in tow.
“I stopped in and they’re telling me their rooms are full,” Interlandi continues. “But there’s no one in the parking lot. And when we pulled up everyone’s pointing to the car and asking questions. Then I asked where’s the closest [Holiday Inn] room if not here. They’re telling me there’s no other rooms available in Mississippi, that I’ll have to go to Louisiana.
“I go what about Biloxi?” Interlandi asks them. “They go, they closed Biloxi. You don’t even want to go there. I said I talked to the person at Holiday Inn. They go, nope- they don’t even have a Holiday Inn there. I’m, okay, I guess I’ll have to go to Louisiana then. Then I asked them if they knew a good place to eat. She says Ruby Tuesday’s is good. So we decided to go because it’s Tuesday and she’s telling me it’s one of the best things in town.
“First we park and everyone’s taking pictures of the car,” Interlandi continues. “I walk into Ruby Tuesday’s and the hostess asks what did ‘I choked Linda Lovelace’ mean. She goes who is Linda Lovelace? I was she was the star of the 1972 classic movie, Deep Throat. She looked at me, like, ugh, I’m a fucking scumbag. Then she’s like I’ll take you to a seat. Then we sat down. Then she walks up to all the servers trying to get one for us and they’re all pointing at us and talking about my shirt. So we sit there 10 minutes without help.
“I heard the women going, oh, we don’t want to serve them,” Interlandi goes on to say. “So we get the only gay waiter in the whole joint and he goes,’Sorry about that. Everyone was talking about your shirt. Sorry we made you wait so long.’
“We order but the guy won’t stop looking at me- like he’s attracted to me or some shit. It was bad. It’s either older women or gay guys- I can’t get a chick my age if my life depended on it.
“Then we order and go to the salad bar. Our drinks take another ten minutes. We’ve finished our salads. So this waiter asks me more about the shirt like it’s so amazing to have an ‘I Choked Linda Lovelace’ shirt on. I told him we’re travelling back from Miami and have a Deep Throat car parked in the lot. I tell him, go check it out. They all go check it out then no one wants to talk to us.
“I’m scared to eat thinking I’m going to be sick,” says Interlandi expecting the food to be poisoned. “They gave us our check early- it was amazing. They didn’t ask us if we wanted dessert, nothing. They just wanted us out of there. Oh God, talk about discrimination. Then we go to get gas and now there’s three cop cars- state troopers- parked at the gas station, watching us fill up.
“I’m going, oh shit. Then we pull away and the cop cars are all looking at us. Then they start following us out of town. This was all in this stupid town. Then after that, there was no stopping in Mississippi. We were thankful to get to The Big Easy. I could not believe how much love we had in Mississippi. It wasn’t this shirt was graphic. I finally felt like I was a porn star.”
The Interlandis expect to be back in Las Vegas by Friday to set up the bull ride for a promotion of Ray Pistol’s, Talk of the Town.
“There’s a thing called first Fridays,” Interlandi explains. “Pistol’s club is right in the art district so there’s a lot of foot traffic. We’re going to leave the car and the bull ride down there all weekend for the Las Vegas Grand Prix and we’re going to have Pistol’s strippers riding the bull to get all kinds of attention.”
“Not only is it first Friday but Good Friday,” I remind Interlandi.
“Well thank God we’re back home,” he laughs.