Porn Valley- Jason Sechrest, www.jasoncurious.com Friday night regaled his KSEX listeners with prickly tales of the red carpet. The Xbiz Awards red carpet.

Sechrest was hosting the red carpet event the night before and was very impressed with it, according to him.

“It was at the Highlands in Hollywood- which was the perfect venue,” he explained. “The show was so well put together. What was the bitch’s name that was running the show? Belinda, something with a B. She was the queen bitch. She was a fucking cunt. But she did a great job at organizing every thing and the whole thing was stupendously organized. But she was a fucking nightmare walking around that place.

“Any time she talked to you, you wanted to hit her,” Sechrest continued. “Brenda- her name was Brenda. That was her name. She had the great sort of heritage going on with the curly hair and the fiery temper. And she was not having any of it. So much so, by the time they announced her on stage and said let’s give a good, warm, round of applause for Brenda who’s put this whole show together, there were like two people in the audience going [clap-clap-clap] yeah for Brenda! Brenda’s a bitch. Brenda was fuckin’ mean to everyone. But, Brenda, you did your job well.”

Off the top of his head, Jason commented that Jesse Jane doesn’t look nearly as bad as the cadaverous picture of her which has been circulating on the Internet saying that she looks anorexic.

“She’s definitely thin- you can definitely see every bone in her body when you hug her,” laughed Sechrest. “But she doesn’t look nearly as bad as that picture. I, of course, brought it up to her because I have no couth and no tact whatsoever. I was, like, hmmm, those anorexic rumors must really be bothering you. That picture was really bad. You must really hate yourself when you look in the mirror.

“She was, like,[Sechrest in a whiny voice]: ‘I don’t know why people are saying that! I think I look fine. That was a baaaad position for me to be photographed in. Even the photographer said it was his fault and I posted a lot of other pictures of me that day and they wouldn’t even post them and they wouldn’t even publish them, waaaaaaaaaa.'”

Sechrest also brought up Lynn Lemay who was supposed to have been co-hosting the red carpet with him.

“Let’s talk about how fucking methed-up Lynn Lemay is,” he said. “Let’s talk about how absolutely off the wall she is. She us like the bag lady that lives on the corner of my street. She is nuts. She is absolutely crazy. She was supposed to be there to co-host the red carpet with me and she wasn’t there on time. She was, what? Forty minutes late? We only have an hour on the red carpet. She gets there and her lipsrick is like smeared up to her nose. All over the place and she has the red marks on her teeth and shit. And she’s walking up and I’m trying to interview her because she walked up, literally, while I had the microphone in my hand and talking to the camera. She kind of bolsters her way in front of the camera.

“I’m like Lynn Lemay, you’re here! How are you? Let’s chat and she’s getting dressed as we talked. She was a little crazy. And then apparently she got very, very angry that I was continuing to do a few interviews without her. I guess she thought that even though she was late she was still going to be hosting the red carpet. That was not the case. Her concept of time is a little askew in the Lynn Lemay methed-up world.

“I don’t know if it’s meth- that’s not even a rumor I’ve heard. It just looked an awful lot like it and when you have those teeth and all that, there’s something to be said for it.”

Sechrest went on to talk about how he got to interview Mary Carey and Tera Patrick at the same time.

“That was a priceless moment I will never forget,” Sechrest continued. “Both of those two are like cartoon characters of themselves at this point. Lovely Mary Carey who I absolutely adore- I don’t think she’s on drugs- I think she’s just drunk. I think she drinks an awful lot. When anyone’s interviewing her or talking to her, she doesn’t look at you. She looks into space and sort of looks around. Tera Patrick comes up and she looks around- she doesn’t even look at Tera.

“She goes, ‘I love Tera Patrick.’ Just looks around. ‘I love the Xbiz Awards.’

“And Tera has more Vicadin up her ass than anyone can possibly find at a pharmacy,” Sechrest notes. “She’s the happiest person in porn is what she is. I wish I had an ounce of what that woman’s having. Maybe it’s Evan’s cock. Maybe Evan’s cock makes everything better and it’s not Vicadin. I don’t know. She’s like, I looooove hosting this show and love being here! [Long pause]I’ll see you inside…’

“And that’s all you get from her. That’s all you’re going to get from Tera Patrick,” Sechrest went on to say. “How is your movies coming along? ‘We have a great company and it’s called Teravision. [Long pause]. I have a new film….Teradise Island.’

“That’s the most ridiculous name for a movie…what the fuck is that? What is going to be next, a horror film called Terasite?”

On a sad note, Sechrest reported that he saw Devinn Lane at the show and that she had to put her dog down that day.

“She was obviously distraught by it,” said Sechrest. “I put my arms around her and gave her this huge hug. That just about sent her over the edge. Poor Devinn Lane and her poor dog. We love her.”