BEVERLY HILLS, CA – As rough seas from Hurricane Alex delay oil clean-up operations on the Gulf Coast, Hustler Magazine publisher, Larry Flynt, in a letter to Republican Senator David Vitter today, urged the Louisiana lawmaker to personally contribute “diapers and other personal items” in an effort to control the costly effects of the eleven week old British Petroleum oil disaster.

Three years ago, Flynt and his team of investigators assisted in exposing Senator Vitter’s extracurricular activities with female prostitutes.

Others have reported on the Senator’s penchant for diapers during his transgressions. Vitter later apologized for his “very serious sin” after documents released by the D.C. Madam, Deborah Jane Palfrey, revealed that he had patronized her high-end, fantasy escort service.

In the letter to Vitter, Flynt acknowledges the Senator’s statement that everyone does their part to solve this catastrophe. Additionally, he suggests that, when it comes to blocking the oil that’s gushing into the Gulf, Vitter might consider donating his extensive collection of diapers, known for their super absorbency, to help stop the leak by creating a giant “plug.”

“Senator Vitter has gone on record claiming that the oil spill in the Gulf is ‘too big of an endeavor’ for one company,” said Flynt. “Accordingly, in an effort to protect the coastlines and marshes on the Gulf Coast, I am asking Senator Vitter to use the personal articles that he’s best known for to aid in the relief. His experience in the discipline of ‘spills’ is unprecedented.”

The Letter:

Senator David Vitter

516 Hart Senate Building

Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Vitter:

Forgive me for intruding on your valuable time. I know you are a very busy man, especially in regards to the current problems in the Gulf of Mexico. But that’s exactly what I want to talk to you about. I concur that everybody must do their part to solve this serious catastrophe. And that’s where I think you, in particular, can be of so much help.

As I understand it, you have some expertise regarding diapers. I have no idea how many diapers you actually have on hand (quite a collection from what I hear) but as you know, diapers are quite absorbent. So, when it comes to blocking the oil that’s gushing into the Gulf, they might be a very effective way of solving that problem. With that in mind, I urge you to donate your extensive diaper collection to BP so they can use them to stop the leak by creating, for want of a better term, a giant “plug.”

It could be a historic moment: An ecological disaster thwarted. And you’ll get the credit for it. In fact, when people hear the word “diaper” they will automatically think of you. Hell, they already do.

Please don’t piss away this golden opportunity.

Sincerely,

Larry Flynt
Publisher
Hustler