I used to go on sets way back when Steven St. Croix would wish select members of cast and crew terminal gingivitis. Apparently director Cramer wishes St. Croix only as much.

Porn Valley- Director Nic Cramer, who used to write porn industry gossip, brought a little of it to his appearance on KSEX’s Two Live Jew Thursday night. Prodded by Harry Weiss, Cramer went off on performer Steven St. Croix. It wasn’t pretty.

Cramer was talking about a movie he shot that was apparently snake-bitten. Weiss was on the set a half-day and agreed that Cramer ran into every inconceivable piece of bad luck that you could on a porn shoot.

“You had a lot of problems,” observed Weiss. Cramer said he’s done 106 feature films and this is the toughest one he’s ever done.

“That includes shooting in the Philippine jungle,” said Cramer. “And shooting on the coldest November night in LA history in 120 years. It was a very rough shoot.” Among some of the problems, Cramer had talent show up on the set with STD’s.

“We had four people booked the first day and three had to be replaced an hour before we started shooting,” said Cramer. “And that was the easiest day of the three. I took a two-week break after that to circle my wagons. Obviously we weren’t prepared and the shoot wasn’t going well. I pulled back a little bit and reorganized every thing. I picked up the shoot two weeks later for two more days. And then it got worse- primarily because of talent problems. We had several problems, but specifically with Steven St. Croix of all people.”

According to Cramer, St. Croix , who was the male co-lead, flaked on the shoot.

“He showed up three hours late,” Cramer added. “He took a nap on the couch and decided to leave for sushi and never came back. That’s the short version.”

“St. Croix knowingly, purposely fucked you over,” repeated Weiss making sure he had the fuck-yous attributed to the proper sources.

“This was a revenge-thing,” Cramer believed. “He’s been on a couple of my other movies. We’ve always had a tense relationship. He is a bit of a diva. He’s a control-freak and he’s a director himself so he has a hard time taking direction from other directors. He didn’t particularly care for my directing style so we butted heads and didn’t get along. But we got through it and we kind of agreed to disagree. And we agreed not to work together if we could avoid it. And then I was boxed in on this shoot. Kate Morgan has a guy-list that’s the length of my pinky. She’s so picky with who she works with. I went through the list. Nobody was available. At the very bottom of the list was Steven St. Croix who I didn’t want to go to. I was assured by his agent- ah, no, he’s not going to screw you over this time, even though you have this history, blah-blah-blah. So I was basically talked into giving him a crack and using him. So I gave him the wardrobe through the agent and all that good stuff. On the day of, I gave him a two thirty in the afternoon call time. I wanted to make sure I kept this guy happy because I know how difficult a prima donna he is.”

According to Cramer, St. Croix showed a quarter to five without a phone call.

“He’s a scumbag,” assessed Cramer. “And the result of it is I’m probably going to lose about $8,000 out of my own pocket for shooting an extra day. Because I still have to shoot another day now thanks to him not showing up. I have two and a half scenes. I’m missing a sex scene and I’m missing everything shot that way- we shot everything this way in one scene and now we’ve got to shoot everything in a reverse angle and I don’t have the actor on that side. I got half a day and a sex scene to make up thanks to him.”

“What could happen to Steven St. Croix that would make you happy?” Weiss, the prevaricator, asked.

“One of two things,” stipulated Cramer. “He could slide under a truck and die or he could fork over $8,000 and pay for my day.”

“How about inoperable colon cancer?” Weiss suggested.

“Colon cancer’s good,” agreed Cramer. “If it’s malignant.” Cramer said there was no reason for St. Croix to do what he did.

“He decided to stick it to me- he took the job knowing that he was trying to stick it to me, and give me the shaft financially and otherwise and mess up my shoot,” Cramer continued. “It was premeditated. He could have just not taken the job- I don’t like Nic Cramer, I’m not going to work with him. That would have been fine. I would have respected that.

“After this happened, I pressured the agent- what the hell happened?” Cramer went on to say. “I want to talk to the guy- so she [Exotic Star Models] makes him call me up. He calls me up and the first thing out of his mouth, is, alright, so I have an opening in two weeks. Let’s get this done, meaning I’ll come to your re-shoot.”Weiss assumed there was no chance that St. Croix had bad sushi explaining why he didn’t come back.

“He’s not even pretending that,” said Cramer. “In that conversation which lasted about three minutes before he hung up on me, I said what happened, dude? Why did you do this to me? He goes I show up on set. I expect to be in front of the camera in one hour. I said not even DeNiro gets that treatment, dude. And some other things were said and he was off the phone. I was talking to a dead line.”

“He’s way above all of us,” said Cramer after Weiss threw some more kerosene on the fire. “He should be on Broadway being bronzed. And that’s part of the problem. He’s burned out. He’s done with porn mentally. But he has to do it to pay his bills. So he shows up and he’s begrudingly there. He’s a miserable prick on the set. He’s late. He doesn’t show up- this is with people that he doesn’t respect. Put him on a John Leslie set and he’ll be like a lit candle because he respects John Leslie. But that’s about the only one. Maybe P.T. They can get away with hiring him because he won’t screw them over because he respects and fears them- anybody else, warning- do not try to hire this guy.”

Co-host Daphne Rose, describing herself as a peacenik, asked Cramer if there was any way to bring love back together on this issue. Cramer said, sure, as long as St. Croix forks over the money it’s costing Cramer. Cramer said that wasn’t likely nor the fact that St. Croix would trim his monstrous day rate. According to Cramer, St. Croix demands as much as the girls are getting.

“He wouldn’t even knock $100 off his bill which is exorbitantly high by the way,” said Cramer. “And he charges as much as the girls. He would charge to come back. He’s not fessing up to anything. He’s not even apologizing. He called me and said so I’ll show up for the re-shoot. Are you kidding me? What makes you think I want you there? I’ve already re-written the script and written him out and patched things up as much as I can under the circumstances to get rid of the sonofabitch. And never, ever, again. I kick myself for being talked into it this time. I’ve learned always listen to your gut. My gut said you’re going to get screwed. And I relented to practicality- I had to get the guy that Kate Morgan was happy about fucking. Like I said there’s like seven guys on the list.”