Porn Valley- T. Real calls me Monday afternoon. Real was called in to substitute for Brian Pumper on a Stoney Curtis shoot. But Pumper didn’t want to leave.

“I get a call in the afternoon from Crystal Jordan,” explains Real. “She says is there any way you can come do a scene today? It was my day off. It was a boy-girl scene for Stoney and Dustin [who shoots for Curtis] was directing it.” Real arrives on set about 3:30 pm and Pumper’s in the back yard.

“He lets me in the gate and I come to the back door,” Real continues. “Dustin is screaming [apparently to Pumper] get the fuck out of here. Somebody please tell me what’s going on here, what’s the problem?” According to Real, Jordan clearly didn’t want to work with Pumper.

“Crystal is, like, you make me feel uncomfortable and you’re intimidating me right now- she’s saying this to Pumper.”

“And Pumper’s like you don’t understand it- I’m a really good guy, and the director’s saying we got a replacement. And I’m, like, dude they called me in to do the job. I’m here now and now we got to get the shit on the road and get it done. Dustin is going, Brian, we’re going to have to call the police if you don’t leave. So Dustin calls Stoney, you got to talk to Brian, he won’t leave. Everybody here feels unconmfortable. I’ve asked nicely and he won’t leave.”

“So we wait 30 minutes and Stoney shows up,” Real continues. “Stoney’s, like to Pumper, you got to leave. The girl doesn’t want to work with you. And Pumper’s, like, man, I’m a good guy and these girls are a dime a dozen. Replace the girl. I’m like, dude, the way you’re acting right now is the reason why people don’t want to work with you. Everybody feels uncomfortable. The girl then calls her agent Thomas Hope. She’s going this dude doesn’t get it and he refuses to leave. Finally the agent shows up and it’s now like 4pm. And everybody’s trying to talk Pumper out of the house. He’s saying, ‘no, this is bullshit. I’m a performer, I’ve been in the business this many years. I direct my own line. This is bullshit.’

“This guy has lost his mind,” says real.

According to Real, Stoney takes him aside and suggests they all go out to the backyard, have a cigarette and chill, while he and Hope try to calm Pumper down.

“Twenty minutes goe by and you can hear screams in the house,” says Real. “I’m, like, I don’t feel comfortable here. Give me my kill fee and I’ll get the fuck out of here. Finally Stoney and the agent come out. They’re, like, look, this is what we’re going to do. Everybody’s going to leave and come back in an hour. He’ll [Pumper] will leave once you’ve all gone. Once he thinks we’ve cancelled the scene, he’ll leave. I’m like are you serious? Why are we treating him like he’s a six year old boy? He’s a grown ass man. Whatever.

“So I’m here on Topanga Canyon and I went to Hamburger Hamlet, kicking it and I drive back to the house,” Real continues. “Pumper’s behind me. In his car. I pull over back down the street where the house is and turnaround. I’m waiting and the girl’s telling me we’re waiting for Pumper to leave the house. I go, sweetheart, Pumper was behind me ten minutes ago. She goes, are you serious? I think he’s trying to follow me back to the house. I drive back over to the house and now we’re going to do the scene around 5pm. They had been trying to get the scene shot since 11 in the morning. This is crazy. I’m thinking why don’t we just cancel the scene.

“But this dude has just lost his mind,” states Real. “He’s one of these porn guys where he doesn’t have a grasp on his career and how things are. It’s crazy. Now I’m back over the house waiting for the girl to get back. They’re seting up lights for the third time today.”