The handsomest 51 year-old man in porn, Peter North celebrates a birthday May 11.

North’s biog claims that he’s from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, which comes as a mild surprise to us because in the times we’ve spoken to him, North has never been known to utter, “eh?” or ever say “put the pook in the crease.”

A hall of famer in any league, North’s most obvious claim to fame is the length of his male discharge, often sending out ropes one can hang a diving suit on.

Also blessed with extraordinary penile length and circumference, North, like Houdini’s Chinese water torture trick, has always kept the hows of this ejaculatory stunt a secret.

While man grease aficianados have guessed at a hidden control panel sewn in North’s scrotal bag which allows him this impressive parlor trick, others have ventured opinions about twin prostates; and there’s even been a rumored Congressional investigation about North’s having three to four spare testicles.

Perhaps we’ll never know for sure. Because, a master of reticence, North allows for and is probably amused by all the conflicting stories which circulate about him.

In one interview, North said he came into the business [1984] by accident. While in an interview with the Halifax Chronicle-Herald, North claimed that he was discovered while modeling athletic wear at a private party and was given a business card. Just the thought of that scenario and its implications, alone, is enough to get tongues wagging at Amway parties, one might suppose.

North’s private life, too, has generally been a matter for speculation. He dated Jewel De’Nyle for over two years, and that relationship was the source of a flame war, for lack of a better way of describing it, between North and Mike Albo in 1999.

The controversy stemmed over North’s reactions regarding comments made by Albo in a Hustler Erotic Video Guide interview which was supposed to have been about DeNyle but crossed some lines of propriety.

Besides exhuming all the Matt Ramsey skeletons, Albo made further insinuations that North not only had a sugar daddy who answered his phone but that North also maintained “beards” to hide his sexual identity.

DeNyle, in turn, also claimed her interview with Albo was one of the more “unprofessional” experiences she’s had. A shocking assessment, if only to know Albo.

“The guy [Albo] tried telling her to talk like a whore and slut,” North told me.

“She’s trying to give a better image to this industry. Some of us have intelligence. He shortened the interview up quite a bit because he couldn’t talk her into saying the things he wanted her to say. Jewel promotes the industry totally in a good way. She can do well on a talk show.”

North was asked about the “older man” who answers the phone.

“Clint Eastwood,” North replied, tersely. “He’s always been my idol. It’s so obvious Albo is searching for something. I’ve got some entertaining stuff to say about this repulsive person who could never be an actor in the straight or the gay business.”

If memory serves correctly, Albo also had made some insinuating comments about the Boom-Boom room and Laguna Beach as being a popular hangout for gays while tying North into a neatly wrapped package of light in the loafers festivity.

“He’s making this stuff up,” North insisted. “Put me on a polygraph test. There’s a place in Laguna called The White House. It’s well known for reggae on Sunday nights. It’s a great hangout, but it’s not a gay area. I haven’t gone for a long time, but I’ve met Michael Jordan at this place. I’ve been down there, but the whole demographic of Laguna is not gay.

“There are places that everybody knows about – The Little Shrimp and The Boom-Boom Room – but everybody goes to The White House. And no one’s ever answered my phone at my place except myself. I’ve always lived by myself except I may be moving in with Jewel.”

As we all well know that didn’t happen. De’Nyle went on to having an unavailing relationship with Michael Stefano which had its own share of white picket fence promises, Google hits and dead Sicilian bodies.

“I don’t know what problem Albo has with me,” North was also quoted as saying.

“I get bashed on my promptness and my hair which I play up. I try not to be late. It happens. He’s the kind of guy who tries to be cool and hip, but he’s a dork.”

On the subject of North’s hair, Christy Canyon in her own book [North, himself, wrote one] called, Lights, Camera, Sex, Canyon recalled a scene for which she was paired with North. Canyon describes their exchange thusly:

“‘Can I just tell you one thing Christy?’ Deep concern set in his brown eyes… ‘It’s really the only thing you have to know about me in a sex scene.’

“‘Of course you can tell me.’ Maybe he was going to tell me that he easily formed a crush on girls that looked like me.

“‘Do not touch my hair.’ … He glanced in the mirror. ‘It takes me a long time to get my hair like this, and if anybody touches it in a sex scene, I lose all of my concentration.’

“I didn’t want that on my conscience. ‘I promise you Peter, I will not touch your hair.'”

A tender and poignant moment out of porn’s memorable past to be sure, as was North’s brief dangle in gay porn as Matt Ramsey.

L’Affair Ramsey created way more furor and consternation than it deserved- more for North’s trying to avoid or deny the issue. At one point in the controversy, North was claiming he deployed a stunt butt for all those submissive ass-clenching camera shots, but gay director William Higgins claimed in an interview for a magazine that North enjoyed the sex he had with men.

According to Higgins, North, himself, continued to stunt butt even after he supposedly left gay films.

“[He] truly loved to be fucked up the ass [and who of us hasn’t],” Higgins was quoted as saying. If true, a comment of the same magnitude as Shoeless Joe Jackson conspiring to dump the 1919 World Series.

Gonzo was certainly a career extender for North, who during the video feature era, had the reputation of keeping a perfect hairline but not being able to act his way out of a paper bag.

But in 1993, North was given the paper bag to prove that label flimsy and highly unfair at the very least. To watch North play me in the raffish and exuberant Adult Video Nudes [VCA Pictures] is to “witness an actor establish a Kevorkian response with his audience without losing the elements that brought him to the dance. Whatever that dance was.”

Not our quote, but from Halifax Night Life, page 26.