Connecticut- The lights are strobing, the music is thumping and the DJ keeps announcing that we’ll see Sarah Palin naked on stage in a matter of moments.

“Coming up, Sarah Palin, here to stimulate your package! Yummy, yummy!” the DJ says in his best Top 40 voice.

Not Sarah Palin, actually. Serra Paylin.

Men of every age and race are crowded around the low-slung circular stage at Hollywood, a strip club in suburban Southington. They’ve come to ogle XXX Hustler pornstar Lisa Ann, famous in the adult-film world for portraying the Alaska governor in the spoof film Who’s Nailin Paylin: Adventures of a Hockey MILF.

Lisa Ann is backstage changing into her Sarah Palin costume while the DJ promos her dance with zingers like, “Serra Paylin: Proving once again that Republicans have bigger tits than Democrats!”

Big doesn’t begin to describe them. Lisa Ann busts out onto the stage in a smart white blazer, tight black miniskirt and high heels. Her hair’s up in a bun and she’s sporting a pair of wire-rim glasses. She tosses the glasses, loses the blazer and shakes her hair out over her bare shoulders. All too quickly she’s down to rhinestone bra and panties. The men are hooting wildly as the techno music pulses faster. She rips off her bra and a pair of fake breasts big as mini-basketballs drop like bombs over her torso.

The same breasts, in fact, that prompted an amusing — if obvious — global-warming joke in the movie. Paylin’s dreaming about her husband Todd’s business partner, a snowmobile salesman, and begging him to take her for a ride.

“Looks like global warming has caused a couple of giant snowcaps to break free,” says Paylin, leaning over his office desk. “It’s time to drill, baby, drill. Drill hard and drill deep. Come on ya tree-hugging hippie. What’re ya wait’n for, congressional approval?”

You can guess what happens next. And for almost 20 minutes.

…..

Who’s Nailin Paylin made a big, predictable splash when it hit the market just days before Election Day last year. And how could it not have?

Palin was arguably the most talked-about politician in America, and here was her porno doppelganger boinking a snowmobile salesman, getting tag-teamed by a pair of vodka-swilling Russians and doing a lesbian three-way with Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice imitators. A bonus DVD released post-election, Obama Is Nailin Paylin, has the newly elected president consoling a defeated Paylin — then screwing her silly.

Porn parody is nothing new, but the level of success achieved by Who’s Nailin Paylin might be.

Six months after its release, the movie is one of Hustler Video’s all-time bestsellers — something unprecedented in company history.

Hustler says it can’t keep up with orders for the DVD and is already planning a sequel — with Lisa Ann reprising her starring role. Hollywood’s Nailin’ Paylin, shooting this spring for a late-summer release, will parody Palin’s imagined new career as book author and talk-show host and, of course, put her in bed with a bunch of spoofed celebrities.

Porno parodies are usually good for just one movie, says Jeff Thill, director of operations for Hustler Video Group and the writer of Who’s Nailin’ Paylin. Paylin’s different. For whatever reason, there’s just something about Sarah.

“There aren’t many franchises in the adult world. It’s a one-trick pony,” Thill says. “It’s really different with her. She’s not really in the news right now and yet we can’t keep the title in stock. Assuming the second one goes well, we’ll continue on forever if we can get away with it.”

Meanwhile, Lisa Ann has taken her Sarah Palin show on the road, and appeared in Connecticut last week for three nights of pole-dancing at Hollywood in Southington and Rockstar in Wolcott.

She wasn’t planning to appear as Sarah Palin, so she left the suit and specs at home. But after night one, the club’s owner asked her to dance as the governor. So she went to a local mall and purchased a makeshift Palin costume for the few seconds she’d actually have it on.

…..

For a generation of Americans raised on Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush and Hillary Clinton, it isn’t hard to see why Sarah Palin quickly became an easy political sex symbol — and thereafter an easy porno spoof.

She came out of nowhere last summer — young, leggy and dressed in thousand-dollar skirt suits — into a political arena that counts Nancy Pelosi, Condoleezza Rice and (again) Hillary Clinton among its leading ladies.

But it was more than how she looked. Palin was a larger-than-life character and a political train wreck — the helicopter hunting, the pregnant teenage daughter, the weird kids’ names (Trig?), the chronic lying about bridges to nowhere. The porn world would be hard pressed to make up a better story line for a XXX parody.

That might help explain why Who’s Nailin Paylin was such a mega-hit while Gov Love: The Elliot Spitz-Her Story was less so. And why Hustler has yet to spoof Michelle Obama. Apparently, not all political porn is created equal.

“Sarah Palin was so much larger than life and getting such an incredible amount of publicity,” Hustler’s Thill says. “She came out of the blue. No one knew who she was. She was sexy and cute. It just seemed like a no-brainer.”

But it wasn’t a no-brainer. Hustler hadn’t thought to spoof Palin until the New York Daily News called late last summer wondering if they had posted the Craigslist ad seeking a Sarah Palin imitator for an adult film.

“I said no, hung up, and said, Why aren’t we doing this?” says Thill. “Immediately I jotted down five scenes I thought would be really funny and pitched it to the president.”

The scenes include:

• Two drunk Russians double-teaming Paylin after their snowmobile breaks down in front of the governor’s mansion.

• A young Paylin screwing her high school science teacher after class. (Teacher: When did dinosaurs walk the earth? Paylin: They never existed and their fossils were placed on earth by Satan to trick mankind? Teacher: Bingo!)

• And Paylin being orally pleasured by “Hilly” under the podium during a mock press conference.

At first Hustler execs were cautious about doing the film. Not because they’d be releasing a video days before Election Day showing the GOP veep candidate getting probed in every one of her God-given orifices. Hustler was worried that McCain and Palin would lose — and then who would care about buying a porno spoofing an also-ran?

Turns out lots of people would — and lots more would pay a $12 cover to see her dance live for 10 short minutes.

After writhing against the pole and fondling herself a few times in club Hollywood, Lisa Ann’s Serra Paylin started handing out swag: DVD copies of Who’s Nailin Paylin and film promo posters rolled up into tubes. She’d stuff the posters between her legs, hump them on the dance floor a few times, then shove men’s faces into her crotch so they could remove the posters with their teeth. The whole place went nuts.

“It’s made me a pop icon,” Lisa Ann says of her role as Paylin. “I made the ‘Greatest Moments of 2008′ on VH-1.”

…..

Political-themed porn might be old as porn itself. But the speed at which Sarah Palin went from virtual unknown to bestselling, spoofed porn icon is remarkable. And it says everything about the lack of female candidates at the highest levels.

“Hillary Clinton, as a former first lady — there was a totally different dynamic for how she had been introduced to the public,” says Sarah Jacobs, curator of the Museum of Sex in Manhattan. “Sarah Palin was a person that people hadn’t been aware of.”

The new girl is always sexier than the one you know and that was part of Palin’s appeal. But somehow that sparkle wears off when the governor becomes a hardcore porn star.

The real-life Sarah Palin is a hot mother of five who shoots hoops as easily as a rifle and sports flag pins as easily as a beauty-pageant sash.

The porno Paylin, however, is just a blow-up doll. After 18 minutes of watching her drill-baby-drill routine, you’ve completely forgotten who she’s supposed to be channeling or why it was sexy.

Live in person, Lisa Ann was out of her Palin costume faster than you could say “Thanks, but no thanks,” leaving her just another thong-wearing bombshell mashing her rack in guys’ faces. But is there market for that Sarah Palin? You betcha!

The Porn-Politics Nexus

We all know that clout, stature and authority are sexy. And so it shouldn’t surprise anyone to learn that the crafty marketers behind adult films, sex toys and other titillating products have latched onto the images of politicians to turn people on. Here’s a sampling of how political power and porn converge.

Did you know whitehouse.com used to be a porn site? It was the late Clinton years, when political reporting taught us so much about phone sex and mutual masturbation, so it seems appropriate. In a classic example of cyber-squatting, Daniel Parisi, of New Jersey, bought the domain in 1997 (the actual official White House site was and still is whitehouse.gov) and, when putting up links to various news articles proved unprofitable, he adorned it with a pic of Hillary Clinton in a dominatrix outfit leading around Bill on a leash, then started selling link space to adult sites. The White House Counsel sent a letter threatening Parisi with a lawsuit, which just increased traffic to the site. Finally, he sold it in 2004 when his son started kindergarten. (Parisi was afraid the kid would get taunted.) It went through a couple of variations under new owners before reverting back into a political news site.

For something more artsy, there’s the work of erotic artist and fleshbot.com blogger Dan Lacey who, hot off his series of inexplicable paintings of world leaders bearing pancakes on their heads, has started an even more inexplicable series featuring a nude Barack Obama on a white unicorn, tackling foes like a Jabba the Hutt-ish Rush Limbaugh and an equally nude Sarah Palin riding on (what else?) a moose. Lacey is in a fight to get his art sold on eBay, which has a policy against erotic art.

The Lewinsky scandal provided the inspiration for a brand of condoms in China. Guangzhou Haojian Bioscience Co. released two lines of them, one called “Clinton” and the other “Lewinsky,” with a picture of the former president and the former intern on the box of the respective brands. “We chose the name because we think Clinton is a symbol of success and a man of responsibility and Lewinsky is a woman who dares to love and dares to hate,” the company’s general manager told the Los Angeles Times. (No word on why a box of 12 Clintons costs the equivalent of $3.70 and a box of Lewinskys only $2.25.)

Also arising from the last election was the “Head O State,” a “commemorative edition” dildo, shaped in the figure of Barack Obama, available in both blue and gold varieties. Its maker, the Ozam Group, LLC, calls it the “official Obama pleasure toy” (White House accreditation pending, we guess) and says it’s “guaranteed not to flip-flop.”

During the last election cycle, New York City’s Benjamin Sherman concocted a series of condoms with packages bearing the faces of Barack Obama (slogan: “Use with Good Judgment”), Sarah Palin (“When Abortion Isn’t an Option”) and John McCain (“Old But Not Expired”). Yes, it’s gimmicky, but can you think of a better form of birth control than knowing sex will mean looking at John McCain’s squinty face?

And lastly, Daniel Edwards — of Britney-Spears-giving-birth-on-a-bearskin-rug fame — did a nude bust of Hillary Clinton from the stomach up (but declined to sculpt any nipples), which is on display at the New York Museum of Sex. Edwards says it was meant to show the now-Secretary of State’s “sexual power.”