No word if Jesse James has proposed marriage.

from www.examiner.com – Most human beings will go to great lengths to score some free schwag, but few would dare tread into the same territory as a recent winner of a German radio contest.

Andreas Muller, a resident of the German state of Sachsen Anhalt, opted for a tattooing after entering a contest to see who would pull the craziest stunt in order to win a brand new $32,000 Mini Cooper.

And according to a spokesman for the radio station, Muller won the contest by a “short head” after listeners heard him on air screaming in agony as a tattoo artist recreated the automobile company’s “Mini” logo on the man’s penis.

While no one is sure what his penis did to deserve that kind of punishment, Muller received his ‘branding’ as a female DJ looked on.
“Once I’m sitting in the car it won’t matter anymore,” Muller said, “Then the pain will be gone and it’ll be alright.”

Omitted from the original story – first reported by the U.K. website The Orange – was a) whether or not the tattooist told the German man that he would feel only a slight prick when the process began b) was little Andreas strapped to a cutting board or was the work performed in a hand-held fashion and c) if it was the latter would the artwork be subject to a handling fee.

The 39-year-old man and his 39-year-old manhood seemed none the worse for wear after the procedure, and he is contemplating having racing stripes added in the future so his penis will look like ‘it’s moving really fast.’

Station officials were pleased with their decision to not give away a Hummer, and the car company thought that adding the word Cooper would have put Muller in the unenviable position of maintaining constant arousal to get the most bang for their advertising buck.

And while most folks may think that having the word “Mini” tattooed on your member may have negative connotations, keep in mind that someone has to be looking at it first-hand in order to make that kind of observation.