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Slim Pickens on his site today said there was nothing going on in porn. I guess that’s reason enough to come to AdultFYI where you would have found out about the formation of the UAWA, The United Adult Workers of America.

And judging from what Rob Black said Tuesday afternoon, if I were a porn pimp or a porn attorney I’d be looking for another line of work.

And if you wanted to know Black’s federal prison number just in case the question came up in a trivia contest, he recited it often enough on his show.

Because it was in prison where he came up with some of his reformative ideas for the porn industry, Black said.

“Big events are transpiring in the business. I’ve been talking for weeks about the formation of something big,” added Black.

“It’s something so much larger than anything that you will probably ever imagine. Like I told you, I told every single one of you that this idea was being formatted, created and spawned during my days of solitary confinement in LaTuna Federal prison on the border of Juarez and El Paso.

“As I sat there I hatched a concept for the complete overhaul, the complete formation of an adult industry that would run, flourish and succeed in a way that has never been seen before. As I sat there in the federal prison, I thought to myself how can I make a difference that’s bigger than creating a revolution from the word ‘Extreme’ and create a movement in the industry that’s now gotten out of hand.”

Black compared the adult industry to a small sovereign country that was in the grips of a tyrant and a dictatorship.

“I pledged and vowed that the day that I set foot on the soil outside, I was going to make a change and fight for the people who don’t have a voice and for those who are less fortunate and can’t fight for, or protect themselves.

“It’s been three years since I’ve been out of federal prison,” he continued, “and the entire playbook has been running. I present something that I can only provide, do the work and give you the game. You now have to get in the game.

“There is no more playing around and joking around. I could give two shits what asshole is directing at Elegant Angel and how quick Patrick Collins will burn his company to the ground. That was comedy. This is real. I present solutions.

“It’s easy to sit there and tell people that the plans that are set forth are not good. But I challenge every single one of you that dispute, that challenge and question anything that comes out of this office- I defy you to present an alternative. If the change we have is something you don’t like, explain to everybody what is your plan.”

Referring to the Mike South turkey nonsense involving Adella, Black said, ‘Adella scammed and finagled my uncle and everybody else.’

“Mike South said the business is boring. We talk, get riled up for a day and then it ends, but I made a pledge and have been on a vision quest since the day I got out of prison, and every day I implemented the vision. I implemented the game plan.

“I present to you today an organization that is just scratching the surface; what I bring you today- is the UAWA- The United Adult Workers of America. In the following days you’ll go to the www.uawa.org website where you will be able to be educated on what it means to be part of something- it took some time to put this together. It took some time for us to bring the right people together. The UAWA is in the beginning stages.

“It’s in the stages that transform a business, a society, a nation,” said Black.

“The UAWA.org- it’s good news you might say, but is it THAT good? Finally somebody in this business is bringing something to the table that matters and will protect you. At this organization they have their own house counsel. It’s not just me sitting on tin can radio.

“This is a non-profit that is completely funded by political donations, charitable contributions and a lot of good old fashioned community organizing.

“You will have attorneys to contact Bobby Starr and Marc Legget. That is the UAWA. Their names aren’t Allan Gelbard who drove a bus for Seymore Butts and got blowjobs in the back seat. This isn’t Michael Fattorosi married to Vanessa Blue and who had dreams of a porn star network where girls masturbate. This is no scam. This is the UAWA.org. It has been notarized and finalized.”

Black then asked this question, “How does someone who flunked out of porn create so much chaos in an industry populated by thieves, pimps and murderers?”

“And that’s just the two attorneys on record, and not the other two they use when we talk about civil liberties.

“I can’t even imagine how hard these guys dicks are because they would say, ‘This is wrong in the business, or that doesn’t make sense how the industry is run. How do they not have workman’s comp, insurance, how does the Free Speech Coalition get away with it?’

“They said we’ll have to bring in another attorney to handle all these cases.”

Quoting the lawyers, Black said there are practices that are so fucking illegal going on in porn that it’s astonishing.

“There’s things in our business no one ever investigates and when you do, it’s like opening up a book of shit.

“The guy who flunked out of porn presents to you- The United Adult Workers of America- I will take this organization against every pimp agent or Joanne Capistrano who tells you to pick up a bowling ball for the good of the Free Speech Coalition while you get stuck in a prostitution scandal, like Samantha Saint, a dirty hooker who can’t make ends meet. But I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she was told to do something by a lot of evil people.

“There is now an organization headed by attorneys that don’t marry porn stars or get hand jobs. They want to clean up the business. These guys know judges who are going to make things happen when faced with situations that are wrong and need investigation.

“Every single day you will see it build and grow,” predicted Black, again referring to the early days of his show when Brooklyn Lee said he flunked out of porn.

“The worm has turned and the worm became King fucking Kong. I don’t present empty promises and bowl full of shit.

“You now have representation. You now have someone that Derek Hay, Mark Spiegler, John Stagliano, Sandy at OC Modeling and Foxx Modeling- guess what just rolled and landed in Porn Valley? It’s a can of whoop ass and the bad guy just brought it. Ha-ha-ha.