Porn Valley- A day rarely goes by that Skeeter Kerkove doesn’t make a burnt offering, thanking the porn gods for Sierra Sinn. On Saturday, Skeeter must have been looking for an ox and a moose to put on the altar because Sierra, wearing her hair in some spiked, super model fish-head creation, took three butt plugs in her ass for a POV movie.
Skeeter’s been shooting for Robert Hill Releasing, www.roberthillreleasing.com and nearly every scene is like some new spiritual revelation. With a body as flexible as red licorice, Sinn’s been having a lot to do with that. And whenever he talks about her, Skeeter’s face lights up like a Chechen terrorist leader boarding a hijacked Russian airliner.
“I can’t believe she’s my girlfriend,” says Skeeter- a strange segue in conversation when only moments before he’s talking about gargoyles. Now that his house is looking more like castle Dracula with its gray slate and granite facing staring at you in the morning mist, Skeeter’s thinking about gargoyles and where he can get some “bad ass” ones to set off his entranceway. But he don’t want cheap gargoyles though he says he was warned against them being satanic. Tell that to Notre Dame Cathedral I suggest.
Sinn’s showing off her hairdo and a lime green hot pants outfit. It’s accentuated by towering heels and matching fishnet stockings. Skeeter says he’d like to see her walking into a mainstream establishment dressed like that, smoking a cigarette.
“They’d all want to be you,” Skeeter assures her. Whenever he gets together with Sierra, there’s more than some element of partying. And Skeeter’s laughing about the night before when he went down the line with his cellphone leaving the usual drunk and disorderly voice mails with his friends. Except Skeeter didn’t realize until he got some return text messages just how plastered he was.
“I was drinking so much Steel Reserve that I was ready to go down to Compton & Watts and start robbing motherfuckers,” he laughs. “I knew I was black, the only thing missing was my black dick.” But even in that state, Skeeter was counting calories. He’s telling Keeani Lei who’ll be working with Billy Glide, how he knocked off two cans of chicken tortilla soup then opened a can of beans, seasoned it with pepper and garlic powder then ate from it, white trash style. Keeani, a very sweet woman, gets a big kick out of the story. Keeani looks like she may have been doing some partying on the way to the shoot.
Skeeter knows that Keeani’s a fugitive from somewhere, just where he’s not sure. Keeani, who’s now with Spiegler Girls, tells him she’s half Panamanian, half Chinese and that she was raised in Panama. Skeeter’s more than satisfied to know that she’s a refugee from Panama and wonders if she’s ever had sex with pineapple face, Manuel Noriega. Keeani has another good chuckle over this and Skeeter reveals that he’s a refugee from Hollywood.
“From the Queen of Angels Hospital,” he tells her. “My mom was told she couldn’t have children and my dad was dumping all loads of cum in her. I was an accident.” Keeani thinks this is a riot but Skeeter’s picturing her on a gunboat reverse cowgirling Mandingo while her countrymen-homeboys applaud. He thinks this visual is a riot.Keeani’s feeling her breasts.
“I don’t know if they’re growing,” she muses. “But they’re swelling up.” Keeani says she’s been taking some kind of birth control pill and that other girls in the business who’ve done so are experiencing similar results. I’m told that Roxy Jezel and Melissa Lauren are among those. Skeeter’s talking about the Mexican movie he shot a couple of weeks ago and Keeani comments that all Asians wind up looking like Mexicans sooner or later and shoot those movies.
Describing Sierra as a J.O. Fantasy, Skeeter again repeats the fact that he can’t believe she’s his girlfriend and talks about how Sierra was watching his back the other night when he wanted to do sushi at his normal joint. Sinn advised him that people there talk shit about him behind his back because he’s a porn guy. Skeeter can’t believe the extent of betrayal involved because he’s always dropped a wad of cash with this place. So he moves to another sushi joint where they’ll appreciate his ill gotten porn gains. For all of this drama to have happened, a conspiracy theorist might be thinking that word got around about Skeeter and the chopsticks.
He was short of it the other day, but Skeeter finally got his shipment of Eros lube which is even more expensive than sushi. He says it’s something like $40 a bottle but has no clue why it’s that expensive. In Chris Charming’s scene with Sierra Sinn, who lends copious amounts of spit and enthusiasm to her performances, Skeeter’s telling Charming that he wants him to be “meaner” than he was the other day.
“But with love,” Skeeter adds, smiling. Charming is saying that he’s only fucked one girl in the business with a hole smaller than Sierra Sinn’s- and that’s Kitty, an Asian girl. Except Chris isn’t specific as to which hole he’s talking about, although his cock in Sierra’s ass tests the validity of certain laws of Physics.
“She’s tighter than a 13 year-old choir boy, huh, Chris?” photog Richard Montfort, the black cloud of love, is asking Charming. Sierra’s ready to take three butt plugs in the ass, while Skeeter’s talking about his vision of POV.
“There might be other ways of doing this,” says Skeeter. “But this is my life, my way. If it was good enough for Frank Sinatra, it’s good enough for Skeeter Kerkove. I don’t know if it’s a true story, but ol’ Blue Eyes sodomized them all unless he wanted to make them pregnant.”
There’s even a saloon song about three butt plugs but who knows if that’s a true story.