Porn Valley- Skeeter Kerkove’s showing me this Endless Summer portable heater that he keeps in his garage.

“How white trash is that?” he asks, laughing. I wonder if Skeeter had to show his Endless Summer portable heater to LA County’s anti-nuisance inspectors this past week. Because someone definitely thought Skeeter was running a vast white trash DVD operation out of the same garage and felt it necessary to rat him out to the proper authorities. I don’t see any DVD’s, any duplicators or any shelves of product, but I do see some green lawn furniture posing as a makeshift office. Skeeter’s sitting at his “desk”. It’s one those round, metal, glass top patio deals that usually accessorize a lawn jockey.

Skeeter was taking a break from shooting this movie for Robert Hill Releasing, www.roberthillreleasing.com which features a hacienda of Mexican girls. The gimmick in this anal movie is that as each of them take a high level of penis in their pinatas, they’re asses are photographed dripping red ribbons of “cum” in a plastic construction bucket.

It was Skeeter’s white trash homage to squirting- a subject which he takes very seriously and believes beyond a shadow of doubt of its legitimacy. So seriously, that Skeeter’s ready with Nestle Strawberry shake enema guns just in case somebody runs dry. As he’s injecting them with the shakes, Skeeter explains to the women that all of this is building muscle mass and that they’ll thank him later in life for not getting osteoporosis.

What’s with the pink cum I ask him. It’s a joke, he says. It’s a Skeeter F/X joke aimed at the true believers of squirt. Skeeter’s also of the belief that if Angelina Jolie did a porn scene it would make a fortune.

“Porn is is just a big ol’ happy Disneyland fantasy anyway,” says Skeeter who’s house has been undergoing a major transformation. With all the multi-colored walls and tiled floors it’s shaping up like a Mexican villa I tell Skeeter. That all he needs now is some urban graffiti and he’d be all set for his next south of the border movie. Skeeter claims he got into porn because he no longer wanted to breathe chemicals from the pool & spa business.

“I want to be a pornographer when I grow up,” he says with a straight face.

“I think you’ve already achieved that,” one of the women on the set tells him.

Sativa Rose had just been fucked royally by Kevin Kline who looks more like a junior achievement-type than a porn performer. Kline’s the husband of Kelly Kline. In the video Skeeter introduces Kline as a horse rancher who found a home in the Valley of Sin. And Kline certainly takes Sativa Rose’s ass for a Mexican hay ride. Kline might be hung like an Asian in repose but when engorged, he displays an extended family. Skeeter thinks Rose’s breasts are beyond flawless. Kline and Rose produce a rip-roaring encounter, and Julian St. Jox, who’s working later, comments that Rose puts on a good show.

“Don’t stop- I want to be your Mexican sex slave!” Rose is screaming at Kline. She jokes later about how she’ll be afraid of cutting a fart in Ralph’s with pink shit still coming out of her ass.

“It’s a good show,” muses St. Jox of the Rise scene. “It helps an old guy but I still love this shit.”

“You smell good,” Skeeter tells Julian.

“Which I suppose is better than smelling bad,” St. Jox replies.

Rose had been knocking down Jagers for awhile to prep herself mentally, and Skeeter’s been knocking them down with cans of Ducati- er, Tecate. Rose is telling Skeeter how her father saw one of her scenes and thought she was really great in it.

Chris Charming’s going to be in the next scene, and Charming’s talking about how he was out of commission for awhile with an inflamed colon. Luscious Lopez tells Charming that it’s karma for putting that sized gun of his up a girl’s ass. Lopez wonders if Charming takes his dick for walks three times a day. Charming smiles. He’s very proud of his dick and all references to its size.

Skeeter’s telling Rose about a snake of another variety. Somehow a rattler got into his house. Skeeter then asks Rose who’s the biggest black guy she’s ever taken in her ass. She says Jack Napier and Skeeter remembers the time Bridgette Kerkove took Napier in a pile driver balls deep in her ass in a $70 hotel room.

Meanwhile, Luscious Lopez is relating how her family came illegally across the border and when she told her father she was doing porn he said it didn’t matter as long as she wasn’t picking strawberries. Lopez, who’s 24, came into the business last May and has done maybe 60 movies. She’s asked if she’d like to have a baby.

“Would you be a loving, caring mother?” Skeeter asks her. Lopez says no way, which is to say she’s not excited about the prospectsof motherhood. And Skeeter commends her for making a wise decision, all things considered. Skeeter’s urging Lopez to wear a pair of boots but because of the size of her legs, Lopez tells him she can’t find a size to fit. Impossible, he tells her, that he had a pair of size 12’s in the closet to fit Lauren Phoenix. Skeeter recalls a time- June 2004- when he had to put boots on Katja Kassin with the aid of a pair of pliers. Hearing that story, Lopez settles for the size 12’s.

Kat’s also on the set, and Skeeter’s posing a question to no one particular if they’d like to have their dick up her ass. Skeeter laughs about how he got in trouble in Vegas over Kat.

“I got beat on by Bridgette Kerkove for liking her,” Skeeter smiles. Kat asks Skeeter if she could have a peanut butter & jelly sandwich after her anal scene is done. She’s working with Charming and St. Jox.

“Don’t let her get away with nothing,” Skeeter urges Charming and St. Jox. “She’s a princess but she needs to be punished.” Kat, who’s ass is on automatic gape, is willing to try a double anal

From someone who was there, I’m hearing about a recent mutiny with a couple of girls walking on a Roy Karch shoot. The shoot went several days, each day over 16 hours without food or water- a style reminiscent of Guantanamo.

“You appreciate Skeeter that much more,” I’m told.