Porn Valley- With the Dallas- Eagles game serving as a backdrop, Tom Zupko is thinking up ways to annihilate Cytherea’s ass. We’re sitting at the bar at Toast in the Valley- me, Zupko, Brian, aka Plus One; and Jimmy Orlando who PM’s for Zupko. Harry Weiss will stop by later along with Cytherea. But, for now, Zupko has a bet on the table with Brian- a hundred bucks. Brian’s a Dallas fan, so figure who Zupko has his money on.
Even Donovan McNabb’s laughing. But this is when the Eagles are winning. And Zupko’s on the floor- not because the Eagles are winning, but because Brian tells him how Cytherea has just bought this miniature cow. There’s this website that sells miniature cows. This is the funniest thing Zupko’s ever heard of, commenting about “psycho porn fucks” buying a cow.
“What are you gonna do with the fuckin’ cow?” Zupko, in hysterics, wants to know. Brian tells him the cow barely comes up to your knees. Zupko’s roaring. Zupko was on The Goddess of Gush KSEX show last Thursday night but evidently missed the part where Cytherea announced she was buying this cow.
Brian’s telling Zupko, yeah, they housebreak the cow and everything for you. Because God forbid there’s a pile of cow shit by the plasma screen. Brian says the cow arrives in March, that it was just born last week. Zupko, however, is having a cow because Cytherea’s doing anal now. Zupko’s got this master plan for Cytherea’s ass and is discussing it with Brian. Brian seems to like whatever Zupko’s planning, so they have a number of smoke break conferences outside to detail an upcoming shoot.
Zupko likens the whole idea to the The Goddess meeting the Devil- pick your sides. While Zupko and Brian are acquiring lung cancer, Jimmy is telling me this story about how he got rousted by LAPD when he pulled into the Aku Aku motel to pick up male talent for a Hustler shoot. The cops want to know what he’s doing there. Jimmy tells them that he’s there to pick up male talent for a porn shoot, but the cops seem to have a different idea- they tell Jimmy he’s there to score meth and start frisking him. Jimmy says it takes about 45 minutes to get this whole ridiculous matter straightened out.
It takes Donovan McNabb even less time to throw a certain Eagles win out the window. Dallas runs a McNabb interception back into the end zone. McNabb looks like he’s feigning a limp, and Zupko watches his hundred bucks evaporate. Cytherea had just gotten there minutes before, and I ask her about the Defiance/Torrid tranny shoot earlier in the day- the one that was roped off to me. Weiss, who accompanied Cytherea to the shoot, was told by Vince Voss that there was going to be too much tranny drama to deal with, so Finch, the PM, asked me to leave this apparent closed set.
How did it go I ask Cytherea who worked with someone by the name of Cailey Cox. Or Cytherea seems to think that was the name. Cytherea tells me Cox, who was due on set at 9 am but shows up at 2, couldn’t get hard.
If you saw some of McNabb’s last ditch passes, you’d know the feeling.