from www.habledash.com – When the news broke about Tiger Woods’ secret sex-crazed life, one industry was ecstatic: the porn industry. Producers and porn stars alike were thrilled about the idea of new and clever scene titles, for example, using the obvious connection of Tiger to ‘cougars,’ super sexy middle-aged woman and they sexcapades they would embark on. But after learning more about Tiger, the industry has toned their excitement due to the questionable size of Tiger’s manhood.

“‘Just Do It’ may have to be renamed ‘Just Try and Finish It,'” said porn industry actor, of both gay and straight scenes, Peter North in reference to a sex scene based on a play on words of the slogan of one of Tiger’s biggest sponsors, Nike.

The big (or small) question that’s holding the porn industry hostage is that they’re uncertain about the size of Tiger’s penis.

“A part of me says he’s black – he’s gotta have a HUGE penis!” said Tommy Gunn of the Brazzer’s porn network. “But the other part tells me that he’s half Asian, so his penis may be so small that it’s hard to even see.”

As the industry struggles to garner the most of this situation, time is running out. The director of “Two Girls, One Ryder Cup” is on a witch hunt to find another Blasian – half black, half Asian man – that can point him in the right direction as to the girth of Tiger’s pecker.

The real victims here are the countless men and women who are anxiously waiting to masturbate to such a highly anticipated porno.