Posted on www.blog.babeland.com: On Friday, Seattle Babelanders arrived at the store to find the front window smashed and the toys from the window display stolen. Someone threw a rock through the window and then made off with old vibrators and dildos dressed up for Valentine’s Day.

I find myself hoping that this was motivated purely by greed and not by what Babeland is or stands for. I can’t believe that someone would feel so threatened by a sex-positive, female, queer space that they would need to physically assault it, but I guess that’s entirely possible given that actual people who are female or queer are assaulted all of the time.

Also, I hope they have fun with the sex toys they stole because I’ll let you in on a little secret: they’re mostly broken! The sex toys used in the window displays are old toys that have seen better days. We recycle them by putting silly hats on them or doll clothes or sunglasses. Unless the person who stole them has the most unusual doll-house collection I’ve ever seen, they’re not going to get much use out of their purloined goods.

The saddest part of this is that Babeland employees work really really hard on all of our window displays. It takes so much time to design them, decorate the sex toys and set it all up. People always appreciate the cuteness of the displays and I heard this one was awesome. Now, it’s destroyed.

I’ll post an updates as I find out more, especially if they catch the thief/thieves.

UPDATE: I stand corrected. I thought the Valentine’s Day display was something completely different than the gorgeous thing that it actually was before it was ruined. The toys these people stole cost money, lots of money.

Posted February 11:Seattle Update- As mentioned earlier, we at Babeland Seattle experienced an unfortunate turn of events this Friday morning past. One of our Babes arrived at work, put her key in the door, and upon entering felt the crunch and crackle of broken glass beneath her feet. Upon looking up, she saw that a rock had been thrown through one of our front windows, leaving a rather sizable hole, menacing cracks, one large rock, and a shower of broken glass strewn over our Valentine’s display and across the shop floor. To add insult to injury, the vandal(s) had also made off with five of our most Valentine-hued of the Glass Dildos. As of yet, the vandal(s) remain at large.

While I must concur that the vandal(s) do have excellent taste in toys, I hope that they examine their stolen booty for hairline cracks and fissures; I hope that they don’t boil or run their gorgeous, locally-made toys through the dishwasher; and, above all, I hope they remember to clean them well with plenty of warm, soapy water before using them in an orifice of choice… or with a partner! You may wonder why I am offering advice to folks who took it upon themselves to damage and steal from a small, community-oriented, woman-owned business (not to mention spoil our lovely window display); but, I cannot help it: It’s the sex educator in me.

However, this does give me the chance to segue into something I’ve been meaning to chatter about: The Glass Dildo. A favorite amongst our staff (to paraphrase one of our Babes: All I need are the Laya Spot and a Glass Dildo; then you can leave me alone for two hours and I’ll be happy.) and customers, these gorgeous, silky-smooth glass wonders fly off the display (and now through the window). Made of soda-lime glass by wonderful Seattle-ites, Standard Glass, each dildo is a unique creation, whether in length, or coloration, or the size of the oh-so-perfect for g-spotting nubs at the end. The toy can be warmed quickly by swishing it in warm water, or cooled down in the exact opposite way; and as for durability: One of our sex educators would drop a glass dil on our formerly carpeted floor in order to demonstrate that, no, it wasn’t going to break. (To quote Standard Glass: Glass is strong. Our dildos are annealed in a multi-thousand dollar, computer controlled electric oven.)

Durable, unique, beautiful, and above all functional, I have sold these glass dildos to all sorts of folks: a rabbi looking for something to gift his sweetie with, joyous gay male couples, the solo lady looking for an exquisite treat for herself. And if you’re wondering about the Glass Dildo, and if it really works, just stop by and talk to me or read this great primer on the different types of material. As I recently informed a sexy dyke couple some weeks back, “This toy gave me my first g-spot orgasm without any sort of clitoral stimulation.” They were sold, and purchased one immediately; and if your special someone likes g-spot or prostate stimulation, you’d do well to purchase one for a sure-to-please Valentine’s Day gift…

Just please don’t use a rock in order to get one.