It’s early, but we’ve got 17 Adultfyi pool members struttin’ with unblemished 1-0 records after the Colts 41-10 annihilation of New Orleans Thursday night. So much for last year’s Katrina sympathy vote as the season now begins in earnest.
Experts are picking one of these three teams to go to the Super Bowl: The Chargers, the Colts and the Patriots. Norv Turner is the new Chargers coach, and he’s supposed to be some offense whiz whereas ousted coach Marty Schottenheimer- nobody could spell his name anyway. A lot of people are thinking that this is the Patriots year- well, as long as they can put a leash on Randy Moss, it will be.
The Eagles- and I don’t even know why I’m mentioning them in the same company- will have to realize that signing Donovan McNabb, originally, to a 12 year contract, was not the smartest move in the history of mankind. I picked the Birds over Green Bay, Sunday but Brett Fav-ruh is always full of surprises and is this season away from setting every major NFL quarterback record there is.
Monday night’s game- and probably the best matchup of the week- has the Ravens against the Bengals. Baltimore brings in the number one defense from last year; and any quarterback with the name Carson Palmer should be riding polo ponies, not throwing a football.
All of this being said and there could have been a lot more], I now I turn the game analysis and glib commentary over to Sean from www.pornlegends.com and www.pornvalleyvixens.com., runner up in the standings for three consecutive seasons but leader in the most URLs division. If you missed what he said the first time, here it is again:
Writes Sean: Since Gene posted that the Adultfyi.com football pool was up and running, porn stars and other notables have been contacting me wanting to lend their support in helping me pick the games because I know nothing about football. Here are their picks for week 1.
Philadelphia over Green Bay – The Grand Vizier said I should pick the Eagles and claims that Gene Ross is in fact the real father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby girl. Hey, this guy is never wrong.
Kansas City over Houston – Craig Valentine emailed me his pick: Ei tink he3 C5hkfs. [I think he picked the Chiefs]
Denver over Buffalo – The new manager of Crazy Horse Too, Alberto “Speedy” Gonzales likes the Broncos and can’t believe all the pussy he is getting now.
Pittsburgh over Cleveland – Jersey Jaxin likes the Steelers big, hacked the Cleveland Browns website and says she will make her triumphant return to porn in about another week.
St. Louis over Carolina – Former Senator and recently outed cock-jockey, Larry Craig likes the Rams and a nice tight hairy ass. Jason Sechrest please pickup line one.
Minnesota over Atlanta – Taking time away from writing his new book, “From the Doghouse to the Big House: How My So-Called Friends Rolled On Me And Cost Me My NFL Career And Millions Of Dollars In Endorsements … and How I Found God,” Mike Vick says he is taking the Vikings because Atlanta has quarterback issues.
New England over Jets – Skeeter Kerkove loves the Patriots and said that out of all the Osmonds, Marie … I can’t repeat what he said.
Washington over Miami – Since KSEX is under new management, they claim they have never heard of a team called the Dolphins and said I should take the Redskins. In fact, they also claim he never worked for KSEX either. What?
Tennessee over Jacksonville – Rob Spallone said I should have someone start my car and to take the Titans in a mild upset.
San Diego over Chicago – Paris Hilton likes the Chargers and says that prison is full of prisoners.
Seattle over Tampa – Mickey G. likes the Seahawks in this game and wonders what year it is.
Detroit over Oakland – Porn legend and Lions fanatic, Bill Margold, surprisingly takes the Lions. He also predicts the Lions will be in the Super Bowl…again.
Dallas over Giants – Steve Fossett predicts a victory for the Cowboys and says JFK Jr. said “Hello.”
Cincinnati over Baltimore – Feeling right at home in the town of Feces Spain, Kirk Lockwood said I should take the Bengals and to tell all his critics to go fuck themselves. His six other personalities took the Ravens.
San Francisco over Arizona – Rob Spallone’s lizard, Godzilla, feels good about the 49ers and says he loves to look up the skirts of all the babes that visit Spallone’s office.
And here’s the Adultfyi picks for Week One:
Mike Dickinson: Indy, Philly, Kansas City, Denver, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Atlanta, New England, Washington, Tennessee, Chicago, Seattle, Oakland, Dallas, Cincinnati, Atlanta
Karl the Birdman: Indy, Green Bay, Houston, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Minnesota, New England, Miami, Jacksonville, SD, Seattle, Detroit, Dallas, Cincinnati, SF
Tim Case: Indy, Green Bay, KC, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Minnesota, NY Jets, Miami, Jax, Chicago, Seattle, Oakland, NY Giants, Cincinnati, SF
Steve Seidman: Indy, Philly, KC, Denver, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Jax, San Diego, Seattle, Oakland, Dallas, Cincy, SF
John Gray: Indy, Philly, Houston, Denver, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Jax, SD, Seattle, Detroit, Dallas, Baltimore, SF
Jack Spade: Indy, Green Bay, Houston, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Minnesota, NE, Miami, Jax, SD, Tampa Bay, Oakland, NY Giants, Cincy, SF
Steve Volponi, www.virtualtranny.com: NO, Philly, KC, Denver, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Wash Jax, SD, TB, Oakland, Dallas, Cincy, SF
Sean: Indy, Philly, KC, Denver, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Tennessee, SD, Seattle, Detroit, Dallas, Cincy, SF
Wankus, (Xtreme Xrossover): Indy, Philly, KC, Denver, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Minnesota, NE, Miami, Tennessee, SD, Seattle, Detroit, NY Giants, Cincy, SF
Dan Davis: Indy, Philly, KC, Denver, Pitt, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Miami, Tennessee, SD, Seattle, Detroit, NY Giants, Cincy, SF
Michael Fattorosi, www.adultbizlaw.com: NO, Philly, KC, Denver, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Miami, Jax, SD, Seattle, Detroit, NY Giants, Baltimore, SF
Mastrick: Indy, Philly, KC, Denver, Pitt, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Miami, Tennessee, SD, Seattle, Oakland, Dallas, Baltimore, SF
Steve Lane, www.serenity.net: : NO, Green Bay, Houston, Denver, Pittsburgh, St. L, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Jax, Chicago, Seattle, Detroit, Dallas, Baltimore, SF
Willie D: Indy, Philly, KC, Denver, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Jax, SD, Seattle, Detroit, Dallas, Baltimore, SF
Indiana Adam: Indy, Philly, KC, Buffalo, Pitt, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Jax, SD, Seattle, Detroit, Dallas, Baltimore, Arizona
Brian Wallace: NO, Green Bay, KC, Denver, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Atlanta, NY Jets, Miami, Jax, Chicago, T Bay, Detroit, Dallas, Cincy, SF
Ryan from Jerry’s Deli: Indy, Philly, KC, Buffalo, Cleveland, Carolina, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Jax, SD, Seattle, Oakland, Dallas, Cincy, Arizona
Serenity, www.serenity.com: : NO, Green Bay, KC, Denver, Pitt, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Jax, SD, Tampa, Detroit, NY Giants, Cincy, SF
Sandy Bunz, www.sandybunz.com: : Indy, Philly, KC, Denver, Cleveland, St. L, Minnesota, New England, Washington, Tennessee, SD, Seattle, Detroit, Dallas, Cincy, Arizona
Tony Batman: Indy, Philly, Houston, Denver, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Miami, Tennessee, SD, Seattle, Detroit, Dallas, Cincy, SF
Gene Ross: Indy, Philly, KC, Denver, Pitt, Carolina, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Tennessee, SD, Seattle, Oakland, Dallas, Baltimore, SF
Billy The Crystal: Indy, Green Bay, KC, Buffalo, Pitt, St. Louis, Minnesota, NE, Washington, Tennessee, SD, Seattle, Oakland, Dallas, Cincy, SF
