Porn Valley- The Bears choked on the turkey bone served by the Dallas Cowboys. And I’m crying fowl. That’s because I spent the afternoon watching the Thanksgiving game- Plasma style- at Cytherea’s where Brian and Cytherea put on a spread that would have served the needs of the city of Chicago. Incredible stuff particularly the headlined dessert, a brilliant confection of whipped cream, creamed cheese, chocolate pudding and walnuts.

Cytherea, www.clubcytherea.com cites the ground rules- her house is like Las Vegas, meaning what happens there, stays there. Which definitely eliminates some of the juicier details of the day. But I guess it would be safe to report that Katie Morgan and her man were there, Morgan noting that a fresh recruit wanted to join Nasty Modeling, www.nastymodeling.com simply on the fact that she had seen Morgan on HBO’s Pornucopia and thought Morgan was cute. It was also agreed that Dick Nasty- also there- is much more entertaining when his eyeballs are orbiting his head. And you can take that pretty much anyway you want.

Cytherea and Teagan Presley are apparently scheduled to be on Howard Stern next Friday. And, sensing a shopping spree in New York City, Brian is already putting the credit cards in the witness protection program.

With all the food, the tryptophan malaise hits early and Wankus’s eyeballs took cover beneath his lids- Wankus, judging by the accompanying photo, in heavy training for his much publicized fantasy sex weekend with a couple of porn stars in January.

As far as the game goes, I also cry foul. Because much was made of the fact that Vinny Testacles [Testaverde] was supposedly out with a sore shoulder. But as I’m told by Sean from Porn Legends, www.pornlegends.com , an angst-riddled Bears fans, there are great curative powers experienced by playing the Bears. As a result, Vinnie Testacles came on in the second half to relieve Dallas quarterback Drew Henson who had been playing like one of Jim Henson’s puppets.

By picking both games [Indy by a slaughter earlier over Detroit] Harry Weiss was strutting, Weiss willing to accept concession speeches from the rest of the Adultfyi pool at this stage of the season. [If not for the Bears and The Giants, I would have been the one strutting at this stage of the season.]

Director Roy Karch, who assumed there were complicated statistical noodlings involved in this whole football pool-thing, was also there. And Karch, like the Nixon tapes, had a statistic of his own- 25 missing minutes during late afternoon. The fact that Cytherea’s mom also had the same missing 25, led to some speculation, confirmed later when Brian, observing Karch, said “there goes my father-in-law”.

Earlier, Karch and Weiss had a discussion about Chasey Lain. Karch apparently wants to shoot her again and Weiss, doing the cell phone flip of the wrist lets Karch have a split second look but not long enough to register the vital info- Lain’s cell phone number. Weiss displays it proudly as though he’s scored a mint condition Bowman Mickey Mantle trading card. In an aside, Weiss asks me how I know about him running Adult Staffing Services. Simply, I hear things.

I also heard that Dave Pounder likes to be called David and that he offered Cailley Taylor $200 to do a scene, BUT with a promise of residuals. Taylor, who was at yesterday’s gathering along with Dick Tracey, didn’t seem too impressed by the offer. Although Pounder said she was passing up a good thing. Karch, from reports I had heard, also told Taylor that she was missing her nose. Apparently a blunt appraisal of the fact that she had had a schnoz job. [Someone who was evidently more in the know, called me today saying it was actually Dick Nasty who actually made the nose job comment.]

I also heard that Brian Pumper took time out during a sex scene to dress down his sex partner because she had rubbed his ‘Fro the wrong way. But I had to keep reminding myself that I was in Las Vegas. Later, with bodies strewn over the living room couches during a Sopranos re-run, Brian said something about Tommy Lee coming over later.

I was definitely in Las Vegas.