Like an enlarged prostate and nocturnal enuresis [bed wetting], Shar Pei balls is an affliction many men experience in the advanced stages of their miserable lives.

Named after the breed of wrinkly but cute Chinese dog, there is no known cure except a diabetic diet rich in cheese dogs and Chinese food. And, possibly, a hand job or, better yet, a stimulating foot-to-ball massage with Tanya Danielle, www.tanyadanielle.com as the “X” factor in this provocative sexual equation.

For Tanya’s are the kind of feet, with their intricate movement of bone and muscle, veins and skin, that we would make love to on flower-filled summery evenings. Her feet absorbing gobs of white semen against their high insteps are the kind that would inspire poetic rhyme. In other words, her feet are feet a man can lose his heart to.

Superficial, maybe juvenile musings, perhaps. But all this is what prompts us to declare Tanya Danielle as our choice for this week’s Adult Cyber Mart Porn Babe of The Week. www.adultcybermart.com/PornBOWPast.html

If there ever was a Hall of Fame for feet, we believe that the American Podiatric Medical Association would be naming both a wing and a cafeteria after this stunning example of womanhood.

Notice, if you will, the sweep of that foot- the pattern of veins and tendons below the surface of the skin, complex and intermeshed like tributary routes on a road map. Why they’re enough to make your heart drum and fill your head with blood and interference. This is the kind of woman who instills in you an intense desire to remover her penny loafers and white ankle socks.

Although Tanya’s vagina has known the pagan rituals of on-screen intercourse, she’s known principally in the trade as a “cat fighter”.

A graduate of Vince McMahon University, her Masters Thesis was an orderly, comparative analysis of The Boston Crab vs. The Maryland Crab. The fact that “Boston Crab” has now taken on a seedy and disgusting sexual connotation to mean female salad tossing is certainly no fault of Tanya’s.

In her line of work, Tanya often excels in beating the crap out of unfortunate female opponents over the flimsiest of pretexts, to wit: “Hey, you just burnt my areola with that fucking cigarette lighter!” Pow!!!

Or “Who’s the wise guy that slipped the Elmer’s Glue in my spermicide?” Wham!!

And then the fun and tussle begin as Tanya and her adversary proceed to grunt, swear and humiliate one another, often resorting to deplorable acts of demeaning physical aggression. In the real world, this is known as marriage.

As brute admirers of the catch-as-catch-can aesthetic, we can certainly appreciate Tanya, born on December 3 and a Sagittarius, for her consummate physical skills.

Fire sign Sagittarius also being the sign of the archer, returns us to the subject of Tanya’s feet. Recently we came upon some coy, peekaboo boudoir pics of her. Sorta naked, but not eager to prove it, that’s the way we like it. The only thing missing is a dry martini and Tanya could be holding court.

While some men of metrosexual leanings would automatically be attracted to the armoire in the photograph, our attention is obviously drawn to the intellectual side of Tanya.

When we see a woman wearing glasses, we’re often reminded of that wonderful quote from Balzac about semen being the perfume of the sewers. In college, a recitation of that line was certainly a hit at mixers, and we’d often scent our love letters to coeds, accordingly, to prove the point. Campus security thought otherwise.

But what empowers us, often saddens us.

To know that Tanya might one day suffer the corn cobbed feet of a MILF is more than we can possibly bear. To know that someday her mammoth 36C’s will become gray scraps of dead flesh hanging on the cage of her bones puts us into the deepest pits of despair.

So we say, enjoy a dazzling beauty in that frozen moment of time when she’s walking high and proudly on the balls of her feet and peripheral vascular disease happens only to old ladies with sausage toes and fallen arches.