WWW- posted on www.howardstern.com: Howard had a woman named Tomcat, her assistant, Michael and three porn stars into the studio to demonstrate some sex machines they brought with them. Tomcat said that the machines aren't for sale, but that the girls showcase on her Website what the machines do.
Harmony was the first porn star Howard addressed. Harmony commented that she's been in more than300 pornos in the past two years, and that she's sampled all the machines that were in the studio this morning. When Harmony mentioned that she's able to accommodate two penises in the same "place" at the same time, Gary wondered if it's "gay" for two men to have their genitals touching, to which Artie responded, "Yes, move on."
Harmony went on to say that she was promiscuous at a young age, before admitting that she won't do interracial scenes in her films. Harmony insisted, though, that the reason she doesn't have sex with black men on film doesn't have to do with her being prejudiced because she's had sex with black men off film, but that she simply doesn't have time to do so.
The next porn star, Dana, claimed that she's "a nerd," and that men don't approach her when she goes out. Dana also said that she loves being in porn, explaining that, even though she looks innocent, she's actually "a dirty whore." Dana then told Howard that she enjoys being tied up during sex, before showing him her natural breasts.Annie was the final porn star in the studio, and she told Howard that she has "a durable p*ssy and ass."
To illustrate her point, Annie noted that she once had sex with nine guys at the same time in her private life and that the session lasted from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. Annie added that, when she was a freshman in college, she and her boyfriend couldn't find a secluded place to have sex, so they ended up doing it in a convent that was located on the school's campus.
Howard asked the women if there was any romance in their lives, to which Annie replied that she prefered sex to being wined and dined. Annie went on to say that she had sex with only two boys in high school, but that she opened up more in college, where she did it with 64 men. Annie also said that she'll now "f' anything with a c*ck," and that she definitely would've had sex with Howard if they were in college together, regardless of what he looked like.
Annie brought up that she's been "fisted" in her back door by Harmony, while Harmony said that she's also been "fisted" by Annie. Given this, Howard wondered if the women were turned on by the SIRIUS logo, which they said they were. Dana then commented that she's mostly into women and that she, too, likes to be "fisted."
Tomcat announced that Annie would first be demonstrating the "Lick a Chick," which she explained is a sex machine that was made from a Milwaukee Power Drill attached to a chain saw. As Annie was using the "Lick a Chick," Gary pointed out that she really had an orgasm and that he knew it because he got "squirted" on his face and in his eye. Gary then pointed out that he wanted to go to a hospital, reminding Howard that Annie admitted to having had sex with 64 men in college alone.
Despite his concern, Annie assured Gary that she's been tested for diseases and that she's clean. When Gary admitted that he was genuinely upset that he wasn't given a warning before Annie "finished," she acknowledged that she should've told him before she started that she's known for "squirting."
Artie told Annie that he used to work with a Milwaukee Power Drill, so he wanted to operate the machine while she was on it. After Annie had her second orgasm, Artie noted that he was going to "boil" his hands.
Tomcat noted that the next machine, "The Trespasser," was nothing more than "a modified cake mixer" and that Harmony would use it while Dana was "driving it." While using the machine, Harmony kept demanding that Dana increase its speed, which eventually led to it jamming up. Harmony responded to the event by commenting that she was close to having an orgasm when the machine broke down, and that it usually doesn't take her as long as it did today to "finish" because of the ability of "The Trespasser" "to hit right were it needs to hit."
For the third demonstration, Tomcat said that Dana would be using "The F' Saw." Upon seeing the machine, Howard wondered if it was safe, but Dana told him she's used it many times before, and that it was fine. Since Gary was in charge of operating the saw, he asked Dana if there was a chance she'd produce the same result as Annie, to which she replied she'd be as surprised as him if she did. After Dana was done with "The F' Saw," Howard asked her if she was okay, noting that she was shaking. However, Dana told Howard that she felt "fantastic," and that "The F' Saw" was "one of her faves."
After the demonstrations, Howard went around the room to get everyone's reaction to what had just happened. Artie commented that the demonstrations were the most "extraordinary" things he'd ever seen, while Benjy questioned if Annie would really be willing to have sex with just anyone as she claimed earlier. When Annie confirmed this, Fred noted that he'll now have to pray for power outages because, based on the machines and the responses they got from the women, he didn't think men will be needed in the bedroom anymore.
As Gary agreed with Fred's point, Robin mentioned that she thought Dana was going to get hurt because of the way her body was vibrating while using "The F' Saw." Will then added that there was no way for Robin to have realized just how much power was going through the saw and that he was shocked Annie wasn't injured as well.
Howard proceeded to take a number of phone calls about the girls' appearance. Following one caller's remark that Gary wouldn't have gotten hit in the face had he been wearing his beekeeper's mask, Ralph got on the line and admitted that the girls sounded too wild even for him. This led Harmony to say that she doesn't understand the double-standard that exists in today's society that states it's okay for men to enjoy wild sex, but women aren't allowed to do the same. A final caller told Howard that he'll never be able to walk through Home Depot the same way again after hearing today's broadcast.
As Howard was preparing for a commercial, he noted that Annie was using "The Magic Wand" on herself, culminating in a final squirt. Tomcat then presented the wand to Howard as a way of thanking him for allowing her and her employees on the show.
