Featuring the likes of Cindy Crawford, Roxy Jezel and Cytherea, Cream Crazed Cuties from Defiance/Torrid is the Baja Run of blowjobs- a rugged and merciless terrain of cock gagging, skull fucking, ball sucking, t-bagging, bulging eyeballs, gag reflexes and near-death experiences. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration. But with a total of 10 women occupying the cast- all dressed school girlish and in pigtails- Vince Voss is gathering their precious moments on camera with the semblance of an interview.

“Hi, my name is Chanel bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch,” says Chanel Chavez and before her name’s even out of her mouth, an enraged cock is locked and loaded in her jaw. In Chavez’s case, said cock is Tony T’s. Now figure some variation of that scenario throughout this sometimes gut-wrenching and gasp-inducing show.

Cindy Crawford, who’s also worked over by Tony T, produces enough salivary strings to make a suspension bridge. In similar fashion, the very pretty Jasmine Tame’s assaulted by Brian Surewood and proves that a rabid dog’s got nothing on her when it comes to foaming at the mouth. And Roxy nearly drowns and is blinded by her own spew.

That some guys have balls like the weathered facade of an old monument is an uncomfortable subtext you can’t escape with Grade A camera work featuring upside down, downside up and other vertigo-inducing angles. You’ll probably postpone that next ride on the roller coaster since this no fucking, just sucking feature’s an amusement park in of itself.