Porn Valley- The fact that the grand wazoo of Warsaw, or whoever Lech Kaczynski is, banned the 1000-man World’s Gang Bang Championships scheduled for this Sunday in Poland begs a lot of questions. The most notable, I think, is the one raised by Sabrina Johnson’s 2000 man mark, accepted as being set in December, 1999 and why this is not considered the world standard.

The universal press also seems to be accepting another fact without cross examination that a Polish dame named Klaudia Figura set a record of 646 men in 2002, completely overlooking a record claimed by Candy Apples of 742 set before Figura’s. Another musing is the fact that at the 1025 mark, Johnson begins taking guys in the ass. And one ponders now whether she did at least 100 that way- which would kind of make Victoria Givens’ attempt at the 100-man anal record scheduled for later this month null and void.

All these thoughts cross one’s twisted mind as Gang Bang 2000- a two set DVD package from Arrow Productions, www.xxxdeepthroat.com unfolds. Mine as a journalist would be to ask whatever happened to Danny Carrelli who’s featured quite prominently throughout the running of this show. Carrelli, with stern look and Groucho Marx eyebrows, is credited as the event’s director and is also credited as winding up in the trunk of a Cadillac. But this, so far as I can tell, is an urban legend. In one interview, Carrelli states that Sabrina Johnson was chosen for the task at hand because of her crossover appeal with both Euro and American audiences. But what Carrelli doesn’t mention is the fact that Marylin Starr backed out of the project and Carrelli had to come up with a body, fast.

Nonetheless, Carrelli forecasts a record that will stand forever. “We’re doing it legitimately,” he says- a statement you kind of accept with a smirk knowing how marathon gangbangs tend to bend the rules. Also guffaw-provoking is Carrelli’s insistence that Johnson’s paramors are all A talent and that he could have shot two films for the cost of this one event. But it’s not polite to speak ill of the…missing.

The woman of the hour, however, is Johnson, a lovely Scottish woman, whose face remains made up and fresh for two days in the middle of a boxing ring but whose vaginal terrain absorbs the shock of 2,000 dicks barreling down her road with full tread. Albeit the dicks of maybe 40 or 50 guys altogether because that’s the number of guys that were actually mustered.

“I must be insane,” says Johnson to interviewer Dee at the outset of the record attempt. And one would have to agree since the roaring pace of the show in real time [scrupulously edited for the consumer market] dictated 30 seconds of insertion per man with arbitrary pop shots to suit the needs of documentation, but Johnson – often times packed down with ice- takes on all comers, so to speak. No flinching. And in the grand finale she finishes in fashion by doing Jack Napier.

If Victoria Givens needs training incentive or possibly something to scare the heebie jeebies out of her, she might check this one out.