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Happy F’n Mother’s Day

WWW- NO matter how bad Mother’s Day might be for you tomorrow, it couldn’t be as dreadful as the one Kurt Vonnegut Jr. [pictured] experienced during World War II.

Jill Krementz, the wife of the “Slaughterhouse Five” novelist, told Webster Hall’s Baird Jones that her future husband was in the Merchant Marine: “He got a weekend pass for Mother’s Day, but his mother got drunk and committed suicide. She had been depressed for years.”

Here are some other celebs who make one appreciate one’s own mother:

* Beat poet Allen Ginsberg’s mother, Naomi, was a radical nudist who suffered from schizophrenia. In “Kaddish,” the gay Ginsberg described her lolling around the house: “One time I thought she was trying to make me come lay her . . . seemed perhaps a good idea to try – know the Monster of the Beginning Womb.”

* Eric Clapton, who was born out of wedlock to a 16-year-old and raised by his grandparents, still has issues he shared with The London Telegraph: “She had abandoned me, and I blamed her. That is where it all began. Then I realized that I was capable of doing exactly the same to the opposite sex – and worse than she ever did to me.”

* Sting walked in on his mother during a passionate tryst with the milkman. “I can hear soft moans and the quickening of breath from behind the glass door,” he recalls in his memoir, “Broken Music.” “As I turn the handle, there is a sudden panic on the other side of the glass. I manage to open the door only a crack before it is violently shut again.” The back-door man, who worked for the milk business run by Sting’s father, lost his job shortly afterward.

* Hugh Jackman was deserted by his British mother, Grace Watson, when he was 8, and she is still overcome by guilt that she left her five children in Australia and moved back to England. “I am deeply disapproving of what I did, but at the time I didn’t see that I had any other choice. Things were desperate,” she told The Daily Mail. “In spite of it – or perhaps because of it – my children are now all incredibly successful and well-adjusted people.”

* Sinead O’Connor, during an appearance on a BBC show about child abuse, said: “I’m delighted my mother’s dead because I know she can’t mess up my life anymore . . . I acknowledge that she was very ill, and I forgive her what she did. But I’m very glad that she’s gone and that she can’t do anything anymore and she can’t do anything to my children.”

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