Porn Valley – You can call Maya Hills the Trans Siberian Express and not be too far off the mark. Hills is 18 and was born in West Siberia. She’s half Russian and half Eskimo which is kind of like mating a Husky and a German Shepherd with very positive results. Hills, a stunning looker with a subtle slant to her eyes, moved to the US when she was seven and, for her age, has been around a pretty big block.

She moved back to Russia for a year when she was 15 and has also lived in Barcelona and Sydney, Australia. Hills is no dumb cookie, either. She’s investing her money and has got business plans that include two clothing companies. So with this kind of pedigree do you think Mitch Spinelli could get her to say, “Daddy’s Girl is a Bad Girl” for the camera? Not on your life.

Spinelli’s shooting a movie by the same title for his company Acid Rain, www.acidrainvideo.com . It’s an unseasonably warm California day in late November. Thanksgiving is a couple of days away, and Hills is a couple of years away from successfully completing the obstacle course this sentence has evidently become. She can’t do it and tells Spinelli she’s having a hard time with it. This is like Spinelli trying to coax nice polite dialogue out of Joey Verducci in the old days when Verducci would make mincemeat out of one of his scripts.

Then, again, a Spinelli feature movie would never think of lending a choke hold or a crack in the ass to the Eskimo next door, either. But things are different now with Acid Rain gonzos where subtlety is rarely a traveled avenue and a slap in a kisser is as good as a slug from a .45.

Spinelli’s laughing because the Maya situation is funnier in more ways than one. When he first saw pictures of Hills, he got the impression that she was a tiny girl. Spinelli swears Hills is 5’10’. Nah. Maya might go 5’8″ tops, but she’d love to be 5′ 10″ and a fashion model. Spinelli first heard about Hills, who’s brand new to the business, through her agent Tyler Young who’s out of Florida. So Spinelli’s telling Hills, okay, this is new to you but pretend you’re Julia Roberts and you’re getting paid $10 Million bucks.

“Basically, you’re an actress,” he repeats. “Just pretend.” Hills, who gets it in four takes, is working with Marco. Marco’s from Spain but has a smile like Schwarzenegger. Marco’s a pretty muscular guy, as well, and has this tattoo on his groin.

You don’t want to get too close to read it because the guy might get the impression you’re eyeing up his balls. I’m swearing that the tat says something like, “I Love Fish” but I think it’s actually “I Love Fiona” which sounds like a pretty weird story in of itself. Like, who the fuck is Fiona? And why does a handsome Spaniard have her name on his groin? Is Fiona the first girl to have sucked Marco’s balls? Hill, who’s wearing a purple Teddy, is swabbing cock like a good little Siberian and Marco’s toothy smile is whiter than its landscape. Hills is riding Marco for a good duration in the reverse cowgirl position and Marco beats her ass bright red on the flip over to cowgirl. Hills has become Marco’s little girl, and it’s pretty easy for her to say it, now.

Charlotte Stokely, who’s working with Benjamin Bratt, fits the description of a robust ass. Stokley, however, is a very quiet woman, and Spinelli was worried at first that she might not provide the kind of nasty called for in this scene.”But you can’t judge that,” says Spinelli. “When the lights go on, it’s a totally different story.”

That’s a fact. Because you rap this platinum blonde’s hindquarters and it dances. It does the Samba and the Cha Cha Cha and a few other maneuvers only seen on upscale promenades. Meanwhile, Ben’s balls, which play a prominent feature in this scenario, are like a character actor’s face – lined and weathered with texture that says we’ve been there, we’ve done that. Charlotte is urged to consume Ben all the way down. As she complies, her nose makes acquaintance with those nuts.

“Hold it right there,” Ben tells her. Charlotte’s lung capacity is exhausted with cock so this is a command easier issued than obeyed. Ben likes to direct as he goes, even when he’s not directing, and I remember Nadia Hilton almost plunging a dagger in his heart when he tried it with her on another Spinelli set. But Charlotte, reflecting the demureness of her little white ankle socks, is not the feisty type. Little white ankle socks – this is the province of Max Hardcore, and I’m thinking I’d like to see Max take this broad and her jalopy for a spin. Wouldn’t that be special. Ben’s now got Charlotte locked in a position called the up and over- a description that’s always been puzzling because you wonder just who’s up and who is over.

Anyway, Ben’s got her in several variations of that, then finalizes the deal with a move formerly used by Chief Big Heart when he was a star of pro wrestling’s Golden Era. Big Heart used to call it the bow & arrow and Ben’s arrow finds its mark in Stokely’s copious sperm hole. Globs of Ben are sprayed across Charlotte’s mouth in a tithing of bleach.Jessie Summers has this smile that’s akin to the most resilient of toupees. It won’t come off. It won’t come off. Even when Sascha attempts to rearrange her face with maneuvers that’s guaranteed to make eyes bulge and put woman snot on your cock.

In a scene that had to be stopped and re-started several times, Sascha pinches Jessie’s nose, skull fucks her in a pile driver position and basically does what’s necessary to avert any more by-now cliched Summers comparisons to Britney Spears. In one instance of that old up and over we just talked about, Sascha has his tattooed foot firmly planted on Jessie’s head- something similar to what Columbus did when he landed on New World soil and found his first Indian.

Remember porn star Flame? If there’s any argument for the efficacy of tanning salons, newcomer Alexa Lynn provides it in her doggie-heavy pairing with James Deen who wears his hair and sideburns like his namesake. But this is no exaggeration. Lynn, a very sweet lady, is lily white probably with a Clorox bath on top of it, so when Deen lays a hand on her ass, his prints are FBI quality.

His nuts resuscitated, Ben Bratt’s ready to take the A-train to craptown and goes in for the kill with Cindy Sterling. Ben’s got a fire engine red butt plug at the ready and jams it up Cindy’s ass for a one-man D.P. after warming up her sphincter with the ol’ Kalamazoo four finger stretch. Like planted seeds blossoming in spring, Sterling provides a flower show and a gape large enough to dry dock a Minnesota Vikings boat party. Throughout this intriguing copulation, Ben’s probably in Sterling’s shitbox long enough to establish legal residence, and if Sterling doesn’t get some kind of nomination for her efforts, then there’s no justice in ass awards.