Porn Valley- In a streak that threatens the New England Patriots for durability, Cytherea and Plus One were again late for their own KSEX show last week.

“As usual it would not be a show without Cytherea being late- incredibly late,” said Weiss throwing in a dig at the beginning of the program.

In Plan B, Harry Weiss takes over the interview duties and Weiss had a pretty interesting dialogue going on with director Jonathan Morgan last week. Morgan had been scheduled to come in the week previous but the Topanga fires forced Morgan to evacuate his home. Morgan’s house was saved by firemen and Morgan made a special note of thanks to that effect.

Weiss talked to Morgan about his latest opus, Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre. “It’s our big comedy for the year,” said Morgan, noting that it stars Stormy, Jessica Drake and the latest Wicked contract star, Keri Sable. “It’s a fun-filled roller coaster ride of sex and rib-tickling fun,” said Morgan. “It’s a three-disc juggernaut of porn. This movie is 11 1/2 hours of bonus material.”

Weiss brought up the fact that the movie was budgeted at $150,000. “It had no pirate ships of any kind.”

Asked where the money went, Morgan said take a look at the movie. And he’s right about that. Morgan said the movie’s 2 1/2 hours long and has ten sex scenes. “It has 25 sexual performers in it. It ranges from a simple boy-girl to a one guy [Manuel Ferrara] reverse gang bang with four girls. It’s a fantastic movie just chock full of sex. Asked if there were any bukkakes, Morgan said at the talent audition but not in the movie. Morgan said the casting call is chronicled in the BTS.

“We had the young ladies come in, read for the different parts- I kind of live in the Wicked world so I don’t get a chance to experience that there are other actresses out there that can act and do more than just say hi, I’m Candy, let me suck your dick. We had an amazing group of young ladies come in who were really talented. Of course we also had a large number of girls where I can understand why they say hi, I’m Candy, can I suck your dick.”

Morgan said the viewer will find himself laughing, but he, himself, won’t single out any performers for the raspberries. “It’s difficult doing cold readings and it shows.”

Weiss said, yeah, especially if you don’t have a command of the English language. As motivation Weiss suggested asking the aspirants if they wanted fries with that. “Or how much for a dime bag?” Weiss wondered if blowjobs were going on at the auditions. Morgan said they were being held at Wicked. “That might have been tough to have the casting blowjob.” Morgan said there was a scene where girls had to fake going down on a guy. Morgan said he had a guy there but the girls were trying to suck his dick. He had to tell them to pretend.

Morgan said there were actually a couple of girls who cold read the directions in the script.

“You’re not supposed to read that part,” said Morgan who was asked why do you have it on the script, then. Weiss also wondered how much of the money went for chicken dogs. He asked Morgan to tell that story and Morgan said Weiss thought it was a lot funnier than he did. Morgan explained that he had problems with the catering, that caterers start off full of energy willing to make seven-course meals.

“As they start to realize that it’s not cost effective, it’s like the old philosophy, keep it simple, stupid.” Morgan said the caterer went to the extreme of that advice.

“I remember going for dinner and thinking we’re going to get steak and mashed potatoes. I go what the hell is this. She’s like, “Cheekin Dawgs”. Morgan asked what’s that. He was told hot dogs and who the hell wants chicken dogs.”Ev-ree body,” he was told. “Mike Rody- he wants cheekin dawgs.” Morgan then told the woman to buy him a chicken dog and everyone else steak and mashed potatoes. Weiss conceded the story might not have been funny but it consumed one minute of air time.

“I’m working with what I got here.”

Morgan said when Wicked owner Steve Orenstein was presented with the break down for the DVDs and saw that the package would need three discs, he didn’t hesitate to green light the extra material and give the customer everything they could get. Morgan noted that Vivid released The New Devil in Miss Jones as a three-disc set but one of those discs was the original movie which prompted Weiss to speculate that if there had been a fourth disc, Morgan would have released the original film as well. Probably no one realized it was a joke.

Morgan brought Weiss a promo bag and Weiss was quick to note the bag was missing a touted mouse pad. Weiss busted Morgan’s balls about it.

“Those cheap bastards at Wicked fucked us over again,” laughed Weiss.

“They must have run out of mouse pads,” Morgan explained. It was pointed out that Wicked has “The Four Musketeers of Directors”- Morgan, Brad Armstrong, Michael Raven and David Stanley. “I would say I’m more of the goofy one,” said Morgan. “Michael Raven is more of the brooding one. David Stanley is the artsy one and Brad is the cute one.” It sounded like Morgan had just described The Beatles.

Weiss dispensed the notion that Armstrong’s famous for trying out the new contract girls.

“He’s the hands-on director who, apparently, is hand has been on a lot,” Morgan commented. To which Weiss said if he could get away with it, he’d do it as well. Morgan conceded that Armstrong being the only performer/director, it would be easy to bring a girl into a movie and try her out. Morgan said he, Raven and Stanley don’t do that. Weiss quoted Raven from a previous KSEX interview as saying he was 5 years and 30 pounds away from doing it. Morgan ventured to say that if Ron Jeremy can keep doing it, anyone can do it. Weiss also quoted Julia Ann as saying that she’d like to get Raven doing a scene in one of her last movies.

“She can keep trying- it’ll never happen,” Morgan predicted. Morgan said if Raven had the choice of having wild, passionate sex in the intimacy of his home and having a guy shoving a C-light up his ass, Raven might opt for privacy. Morgan also was a performer when he first started in the business.

“Whenever I was dating a girl that was in the business, I preferred not to do scene with her,” he said. “I wanted to keep something that was for me. Why not keep our personal life personal. But it was an oxymoron because how did I meet them. It was on the set. That was stupid.”

When Weiss brought up the subject of the fires, Morgan said his house was at Ground Zero in Woosley Canyon. “It got within a hundred feet. It got pretty damn close. If it wasn’t for those fire fighters, I’d be off a freeway exit panhandling.”

Weiss also brought up the fact that Morgan does impressions and recalled a whole movie in which Morgan did Woody Allen. Morgan said it was for Cass Paley. “I did okay.” Morgan said it’s pretty tough staying in that kind of character during a sex scene when the clown at home tends to surface. According to Morgan, Randy Spears is great at staying in character. Weiss said he shot Spears as well.

“He’s awesome.” Weiss thinks the movie is up for a nomination in the comedy category. “It’s called the Doctor is In… You.”

Weiss then started in on the issue of bribes and fat envelopes and Morgan said they just send AVN cars.

“This is my honest opinion,” stated Morgan. “When it comes to the AVN awards, I want to believe that 100% of it is- this is what we truly believe is the winner. But I cannot factor out the fact- and this is just one man’s opinion- that if you look at the advertising of these companies and all the companies that do this advertising- I see their movies and they’ll win a category where you’re just going that doesn’t make any sense for them to win this category, and this other movie not to win it. But, oh, they have five pages every month in AVN. Oh, okay. I guess I’ve got to give them something.”

Weiss also suspects there’s a lot of victories and losses out of a company’s own stupidity.

“Not knowing where to nominate things and not nominate them.”

Morgan disagreed, stating at least at Wicked there’s a thorough attempt to nominate a movie in its appropriate categories and where it’s strongest in. Morgan said he nominated himself for best Director as far as Camp Cuddly Pines is concerned. But Morgan suspects he wouldn’t win because there’s only been one time a comedy director has ever won that award [Scotty Fox]. Morgan also had reason to believe that other companies are just as attentive in placing their stuff in competition.

Weiss claims he heard that a bondage company put one of their titles in for best wall to wall movie.

“It doesn’t fit- how stupid can you be?”

Morgan was claiming not to say that he who advertises gets more awards. “Last year we got nothing.” To which Weiss said Wicked didn’t exactly walk away empty-handed. Morgan said Wicked had something like 73 nominations and had three awards.

“Imagine if you were a baseball player with that batting average.”

After the first break, Cytherea and Brian, aka Plus One, were on the show and were getting brought up to speed on Morgan’s “horror movie”.

“How quick does the black guy get killed?” Brian wanted to know.