Porn Valley- Brian Pumper cuts a fart that can be heard three miles away to Sunland Boulevard. Something smells like a refinery. Pumper thinks he’s being funny, and I use the Dangerfield line from Caddyshack, “Somebody step on a duck?”

Except Pumper didn’t think it was funny earlier when he reached into Skeeter Kerkove’s, www.bkmax.com, refrigerator to grab a bottle of cream soda. The bottle’s gone and Pumper’s huge muscles are getting agitated, wondering who the fuck just drank his cream soda, Pumper telling Skeeter it was a special bottle of cream soda. I guess like for bodybuilders or something.

Skeeter’s disavowing all knowledge, telling Pumper, bro, next time put your name on the fuckin’ bottle. Pumper’s eyes travel across the room searching for suspects, wondering who drank his bottle of cream soda. No one’s saying nothing. This is like a murder mystery waiting for Columbo and the coroner to show up.