Simply Jimmy Dean, today, in an effort to glom onto a story which he stumbled accidentally across on the Internet, writes on his Pork Sausage land website: “P.S. Hey Wankus! Your pal Gene Ross ain’t gonna make this shit go down any better by resorting to thinly-veiled character assassinations (regarding Selena Silver and her man) in reporting what’s going on… just some friendly advice.”

Gene sez: Now here’s your opportunity to find the “character assassination” for yourself in the following two cleverly turned paragraphs I wrote reporting about the Silvers. Let’s take it sentence by sentence and make it easy, even for a chump to figure out.

“Selena Silver and husband Kent Silver have bumped Sharon Mitchell off the front page of the gossip section this afternoon.” One person’s opinion.

“That’s because Selena decided to air her dirty laundry on www.adultdvd.talk.com about her behind the scenes feud with KSEX.” True

“Luke Ford is running a series of those threads on www.lukeisback.com.” True

“But none of these will give you an indication of what really has been going on.” True

“Selena is making some very strong allegations about KSEX and the way they supposedly handled the KSEX games a couple of weeks ago.” True

“Of course it all has to do with money and who was supposedly getting some and who wasn’t.” True

“I had kept the story off these pages because it appeared to have been an emotional matter that was going to resolve itself.” Very true

“KSEX I know is talking to their lawyers today and Selena, if things go the way I hear they’re going, might be serving chum at Shark World in Australia if her comments rate litigation.” I don’t know if the Silvers will actually cast chum at sharks but it’s quite witty; and, yes, KSEX did talk to attorneys. Selena’s comments are, at the very least, a tortuous interference of an economic relationship and they’re now public record.

“She’s already burnt some major employment bridges this week, and her husband Kent, who’s now lugging the biggest suitcase in the business, isn’t doing her any great service, either, with colorful soundbites like, “Selena’s not a woman- she’s a product.’ ” This is extremely true but Jimmy D. wouldn’t know about that because he isn’t privy to inside shit.

“I also hear the Stern show really turned Selena’s land down under nose in the air.” An opinion borne out by Silver’s attempts to bash KSEX after she had agreed to all terms and conditions.

“You might remember that she got a $10,000 check for holding her piss and the fact that she voluntarily did the KSEX games the next day as a non-paying promo gig, apparently didn’t sit well with her in hindsight.” Read above comments.