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Colorado - from www.thesmokinggun.com - The man arrested for hiding in a toilet tank at a Colorado yoga festival is a New Age transient who aspires to operate a “spiritual porn site” and describes himself as a “worshipper” of women.
Luke Chrisco, 30, was arrested yesterday and charged with hiding inside a toilet tank at the Hanuman Yoga Festival in Boulder. A woman about to use the toilet, cops reported, noticed “movement in the tank” and alerted a man who spotted the feces-covered suspect “hiding inside the tank.”
Chrisco appears to travel from festival to festival, according to his Facebook and YouTube pages. He is a world traveler who offers massages to festival attendees.
On several blogs and web sites he has registered, Chrisco--who uses the handle “Skye Oryan”--has written about his desire to “create some adult entertainment” and “share divine pleasure and make a ton of money and fun.” His web sites include maxextrememodels.com, skyeoryan.com, and holysexteam.blogspot.com (where his occupation is listed as “Pornstar”).
Another Chrisco site, holysexgirls.com, declares that, “Girls Bodies are as the holy temple of the conciousnes adoration of infinity and the only refuge from the infinite desert of the sands of time and desolution.” The site is headlined “Spirit Porn” and includes the slogan “No Guilt. No Fear. Only God.”
One Chrisco page advertises his services as a male escort. Using the handle “BunnyMan,” he offers female clients “pricing plans” that are “quick and easy.” The page, which appears to have been created several years ago, notes that an initial hour costs $40, with a two-hour minimum on all “dates.” For $620, a woman could get “Seven Days of Sin” with "BunnyMan," who, for some reason, included a scan of his passport on the site. In a YouTube video posted late last year, Chrisco, traveling in Serbia, talks about “getting business cards for the escort agency.”
Chrisco also recently has been contemplating a “tantric website,” and last month placed an online classified ad seeking models and business partners. Chrisco noted that he and a partner were “worshippers of women and just want to show them as the amazing dynamic and even creations of infinite light that they are.” He added, “Women are the greatest animal in the animal kingdom! Meow! Roar!”
In a June 3 classified ad, Chrisco offered the escort services of himself and his 19-year-old girlfriend. Along with offering “Special Pricing for using us as a couple,” the ad states that, “We can even do tantric or healing type work. There is also an option of making a video.”
In an April video posted to his Facebook, Chrisco--who introduces himself as “Skye Oryan, the biggest jackass on earth”--says that he is en route to North Carolina and spent the night sleeping in a cardboard box inside a dumpster at a construction site. He did not want to stay at the Greyhound station because it “smelled weird.”
from www.deathandtaxesmag.com - A few days ago a woman at the Hanuman Yoga Festival in Boulder, Colorado found a man under a tarp in the tank of a porta-potty. She made the discovery after sitting down and hearing strange noises emanating from the shit pit below.
The woman ran to get someone to help her investigate. Sure enough, a guy was chilling in the toilet, but managed to flee the scene before cops arrived. Several people saw the man running away with feces all over him. There seemed to have been almost no way to make sense of this.
What kind of person takes a dip in human excrement? Who gets turned on by having their face shit on? How could someone Dutch oven oneself in a sweltering porta-potty with a plastic tarp? Who would endure all of this for the sight of a few sweaty yoga vaginas?
Today these questions were answered: a 30 year-old self-titled porn star and male escort offering “reasonable rates to sexy or clean people” named Skye Oryan, (a.k.a Luke Irvin Chrisco).
I know what you’re thinking—how could a man who dallies in crap offer reasonable escorting rates only to “clean people”? Because he’s referring to the spiritually cleansed; Chrisco is linked to several adult websites, one of them called Holysexgirls.com
Skye Oryan is listed as the president of Holysexgirls.com, whose headline is “Spirit Porn. No Guilt. No Fear. Only. God.” The site also features the occasional anal close-up that Chrisco will forever be famed for enjoying.
His biblical porn site boasts, “Girls bodies are as the holy temple of the conciousnes adoration of infinity and the only refuge from the infinite desert of the sands of time and desolution [sic].”
Chrisco, when not producing spiritual porn sites littered with grammatical errors, can also be found on the Max Extreme Models website and has posted a personal ad describing himself and his 19-year-old girlfriend as “college dropout escorts.”
An article in Boulder’s DailyCamera says, “According to records with the Colorado Secretary of State, Max Extreme Models is not a registered business. Chrisco also is not listed as a registered business owner for any company in Colorado.” There are also police records showing that he’s been arrested for possession of marijuana, trespassing and driving without a license.
The turd burglar is currently being held by police in Vail, Colorado on $1,000 bond for a “traffic incident” and extra $1,500 for the peeping (pee-ping) tom incident in Boulder.
Chrisco may be an eccentric—to say the least—but I have to give him credit for knowing what he wants and going out and getting it. He should also be a lesson in understanding that shit happens and sometimes you just have to lay down and face it.
Check out the video of Chrisco below looking a bit like a long-haired Stephan Jenkins with pink nail polish sitting in a strange unfinished room while his friend plays keyboard. You’ll understand everything:
