Las Vegas- As God would have intended it, Sunday was indeed a day of rest at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo.
Some stalls had already packed up their wares, and the influx of fans that flooded the aisles on the early days of the convention had slowed to a determined trickle.
Even porn star Aurora Snow was taking a day off.
“My feet are killing me,” she said Saturday night after two days of signings, photos and audio orgasms on the convention floor. Snow’s work at AVN focuses on appeasing the countless fans that flock to Las Vegas each year for the chance to glimpse and maybe even pose with their fantasies in the flesh. It’s smile, pose, flash and repeat – for hours at a time.
On Sunday, the blond actress arrived as discreetly as possible, in a long flowing skirt and casual shirt, without heavy makeup and clutching a hot cup of something Starbucks.
“It’s my shopping and schmoozing day,” she explained.
With a friend from LA, Snow wandered the convention as any visitor might, pausing here and there to admire the odd inventions that crop up at these things – strangely shaped dildos, lubes that double as bug repellant for regular campers, shag rugs that block bodily fluids from staining the bed sheets.
First off were the Tyler Hope bears, the soft cuddly things that had caught her eye the day before.
Innocent from the front, the bear’s back just below the neck reveals a red satin-lined pocket for hiding sex toys.
Never mind the odd moment that could arrive from reaching inside your teddy bear for a condom mid sack-sesh, Snow was totally enamored with the plush animals, that she imagined would make great presents with a little something extra hidden inside.
From teddies, she moved on to dildos, but not just any rubbery rod.
Since the presidential election a cornucopia of keepsakes have popped up bearing the likeness of our President Elect. Obama’s face has graced commemorative plates, tattoos, countless posters and now …. a sex toy?
With the Head of State everyone can enjoy a piece of the President Elect.
With the Head of State everyone can enjoy a piece of the President Elect.
Molded into the shape of Mr. Obama, the Head of State dildo brings porn straight to the White House steps and not in the form of a well-publicized scandal.
“How much humor is there on this level in porn?” asked Head of State creator Sasha Ozam, who also hopes to produce a Bush butt plug.
Ozam and Snow agreed that the presidential prick, which retails for $35, probably makes a better souvenir than an actual sex toy, but, Ozam added, “you can use them if you really want to put Obama where the sun don’t shine.”
Wandering on, Snow browsed by an X-rated card game akin to dare or, well, dare and a strip club coupon book (just $20!) before finally arriving at the UniRam.
“It looks a lot like a thigh master,” Snow exclaimed, looking down at the curving creation designed to give women a hands-free masturbation option with maximum thrust.
And it’s all based on the power of your own hip flexors.
Uh, what?
“It leaves your hands free for other things,” explained UniRam rep Aubrey Lee, holding up the device, which does, in fact, look like a lightweight thigh master with a vibrator stuck on the end.
The woman simply places the butterfly-shaped toy between her legs and then presses her thighs together for up to five inches of forward thrust.
Snow guessed that some resourceful woman had invented the Ram after modifying her own thigh master with a certain stiff addition. At AVN, sexual frustration, and not necessity, is the true mother of invention.
The Real Touch comes so close to simulating actual sex, it’s almost frightening.
The Real Touch comes so close to simulating actual sex, it’s almost frightening.
We strolled past the male-centric Real Touch booth, where small crowds were clustered around three demonstration tables, sticking two stiffened fingers inside the small cylindrical machine, which simulates the sensory feeling of sex based on the frame-by-frame action in real on-demand porn. (Hint, it’s not for your fingers.)
Snow marveled at the technology for a moment, before contemplating what kind of person would end up purchasing and using the high tech love jar.
With toys coming ever closer to mimicking the sensation of real live sex, Snow wondered, would some people choose to just cut out the mess and hassle of an actual relationship.
When a football-sized tube provides all the sexual gratification you need, where is there space for a partner?
Still, she noted, “People are always looking for a way to improve (the technology). They get bored with their toys.”
As Snow made a final lap through the various booths beginning to re-pack their DVDs and posters, a pair of men caught her eye and registered a flash of recognition.
They greeted her excitedly, expensive-looking cameras dangling from their necks, and asked the pretty porn star for a photo.
Assenting with a smile, Snow struck a sexy pose beneath her floor-length hippie skirt and stared into the dark camera. Even on the day of rest, there’s work to do.