Porn Valley- Skeeter Kerkove's life is a subject books are written about. Let alone his relatives. But even Skeeter was shocked to learn that his mother's brother, Hans Vorhauer, murdered 33 people.
"He's the real deal," says Skeeter. "My mom's maiden name is Vorhauer."
"He's her brother?"
"Yeah," says Skeeter. "I'm so embarrassed about what I've read on the Internet. His wife contacted me."
"Your mom never told you this?" I ask.
"No," replies Skeeter. "They finally caught him- he was on the run for who knows how many years. Nobody could catch him, even the FBI and ATF. Then, somehow, they did. And the only reason they found him was because of this incredib;e guy named Frank Bender, a forensic artist who studied the Kerkoves and the Vorhauers and how they age. It took a lot of years. But his [Vorhauer's] wife was unbelievable on not allowing law enforcement to bully her. She was like a dream come true. And I'm not condoning crime.
"What I mean, is, he didn't hurt kids. He didn't kill to sexually get off because he's a fucking freak. The people who died were bad people to begin with- it was eiher mob-related or they fucked over Hans. No innocent people got killed or shit like that. Everything was, like, here's this money you go take care of business. And he never subbed anything out. He always personally did it."
"So he was like a hit man?"
"Oh he was definitely a hit man," Skeeter answers. "They proved 33 murders on him so far. This guy Hans Vorhauer had the highest IQ of a person ever to enter a prison system."
"And your mom never told you this?"
"Because she said it would upset me," says Skeeter. "I never asked her about it so she never lied to me. She just never told me. And I am the only child."
According to Skeeter, he also learned that he's got family members all over Germany and Jerusalem.
"I've got thousands and thousands of relatives that are alive," he states.
"And I've been looking all this up on the Internet with all the links and the pictures- oh, look, Skeeter, they've got the Kerkove hairline and the Vorhauer hairline. Look, they got the thin upper lip and the almond-shaped eyes. They're talking about my hairline!"
"When you Google 'Kerkove' you get all these references. And about one out of 20, or one out of 30 is not me and Bridgette. It's relatives. And Bridgette kerkove shows up other Kerkove relatives. And Patricia Kerkove does and Patricia Felkel. Then you put in Vorhauer, there's this big fuckin family of Germans and Jews that we have and i's just crazy. I didn't realize I had so much blood worldwide. It's just ridiculous.
"I had relatives fucking like crazy in the 1800's and early 1900's. They were just producing too many children. My grandpa came from a family of 14; and my grandma came from a family of 13. So there's 27 right there. And between my mom and all the others, this is really a big, fucking family.
"Then I find out about the Italian mob and Russian mob in our family. So now I have all these family mmbers who are the real deal and the proof is on the Internet."
