Porn Valley- From the dawn of time and the crack of dawn, man has connived ways- some clever, some not – of breaching a woman’s asshole and vis a vis, marking his territory with a healthy glazed load of masculine approval. Such as you will find in the slickly paced, well lensed movie, Spunk in the Trunk.

Taylor Rain has concocted this gonzoish delight for Defiance/Torrid and she puts that extra touch to anal love much in the way that Sir Edmund Hillary planted a flag on Mt. Everest or Shackleton took his first shit at the south pole. But that is not the be all and end all, because Spunk in the Trunk, besides having this cool way of saying I was there, will also be remembered for being one of the wildest and wooliest porn shoots of 2005 and basically the one in which Tory Lane and Rick Shameless ended their marriage like the brief Shakespearean candle.

Consequently Lane and Shameless are nowhere to be found in this cast. However, you can take your pick of five wonderful scenes that made it gloriously to the finish line wherein the female ass exudes semen the way billows of fog roll out of the swamp in the morning. It’s sweet, it’s tender and, most of all, it’s romantically poetic.

But not so much as when Julie Knight is gang cocked by Alex Sanders and Brian Surewood in an outdoor d.p. scene by a glistening pool. This threesome has plenty of action going for it before you even get to the traditional one cock in the ass, one cock in the baby hole statement. Sanders plants his firm hand around Julie’s throat testing her resilience to asphyxiation and coma then goes to work on her ability to poop without impediment. Surewood adds his two cents later in the game but is rewarded for his marvelous patience because he’s the designated baker when it comes time for the anal creampie. Sanders, however, pops more in the conventional way because everyone knows it would have been gay to do a follow up shot in Julie’s crapper.

In another outdoor pairing, Keanni Lei and Billy Glide – of the massive white boy tool- test the resilience of her tiny asshole. Check out the pool’s cascading waterfall. Check out Keanni’s winking, cum dripping asshole afterwards. There’s an Ingmar Bergman statement being made here.

In the opening living room sequence, the pert Naudia Nyce ass milks Sascha’s cock with the added attraction of Sascha hand dipping his churned man butter and feeding it to Naudia with his fingers. And keep telling yourself: It’s not gay to do this. It’s not gay to do this.

The thing that has puzzled about the Barry Bonds’ case is the fact that Bonds has injected basically every steroid known to man so much without the semblance of ripped, pulverizing muscle. Which brings us to the Anthony Hardwood-Missy Monroe scene. Missy’s pounded up and down a cloth-covered pool table. Anthony is pocketing balls one after the other, the tempo is brisk and the best part of it is when Missy hunkers over the rail for the requisite shot in her ass. Which is your favorite? The blond Missy? Or the auburn Missy? Here you’ll find the auburn Missy.

And in the show’s wrap up, Scott Lyons and Deja Daire determine whether Scott can ever find happiness in another woman’s butt crack beside Brandi’s. For at least twenty minutes Scott’s making the grand gesture and when he lands it side saddle, Deja’s asshole literally blooms. Wait, maybe it’s not supposed to do that.