Porn Valley- I can't stop pissing. And, evidently, I'm not the only one.
Otto Bauer was setting up this scene Tuesday afternoon where he was going to bring a couple of his buddies over from the local pub and have them make a surprise visit on Audrey Hollander and fuck her in the ass. But Bauer, one for authenticity, figures, hell, a round of Guinness ain't a bad way to kick this thing off. So I get in Otto's new Corvette and he makes a couple of teeth clenching, hairpin turns on the way over to Ventura Boulevard. Otto's chatting up his new movie Super Core, cranking up the volume and is talking about the music that will accompany it. Otto's got a lot of ideas about what he'd like to see in a porn movie. Asks me if I agree. Sounds like Otto's landing himself a nice deal to shoot movies, and from what I've seen the last two days, I think he's going to be making a huge name for himself in that area. So I agree.
With cameras rolling, Otto meets up with porn guys Trick Dixon and Buster Goode. Dixon, tall and lanky, looks like one of those guys you swear you've met before but can't place where. He smiles perpetually. I gather that he shoots a lot for Anabolic and Diabolic. And I'm told he's a former landscaper. Goode, on the other hand, pumps iron and wears almost the same tattoos DeNiro had in the Cape Fear remake.
Skeeter Kerkove meets Dixon. "He does not have a blackened heart," Skeeter declares but thinks things can change for the better with Trick. "He has a deceptive grin," says Skeeter. Skeeter talks about the time he approached Joel Lawrence to work for him but Lawrence turned him down. Got intimidated from what I understand. Otto says the same thing happened with him the first time he worked for Skeeter, that he was shit scared, thought he couldn't measure up. Skeeter now puts Otto in "super porn God" status. Skeeter's is an elaborate set of requirements, something about anchoring a double anal and being able to hold the same position erect for 18 minutes. I may have this wrong but that's what it sounds like.
Buster is talking about how he likes to fuck. "That's why I got in porn- I like to fuck." Buster has no respect for women in porn who don't like to fuck. "I love the aggressive approach," he's saying. "I love girls who are really nasty." Buster likens a porn scene to a canvass that you can paint on. "No rules, no regulations." Otto mentions to Buster that his balls are legendary. Buster with thos tattoos is obviously a little taken back by this observation, but Otto tries to convince him that having big balls is an asset, a good thing. Skeeter mentions that Alberto Rey lugs around a pair of mammoth thighs, that it's tough to shoot around Alberto's pins. I suspect that Skeeter harbors the same opinion about big balls.
Skeeter then gets into a conversation about whores and kissing. "There's some weird folklore of street hookers that kissing is too intimate." Fucking a woman you don't know in the ass is intimate, says Skeeter who used to make it a rule in his movies that every scene had to start off with a French kiss.
I'm thinking to myself that this is a conversation prompted by one mere round of Guinness and already I have to piss in the worst way. Otto's ready to get the scene shot with Audrey for the Wildlife movie, and the trip back to his place is a race to the shitter. For which I'd love to have had the piss concession because the toilet handle's getting this active workout from the Guinness.
When the word hubris somehow rears its head in all this, Otto and I are having a conversation about Greek tragedy. Trick Dixon thinks this is cool to be able to have off the wall conversations about Greek tragedy. However when Otto discovers that Hollander has scored the last bottle of Guinness in his refrigerator, this becomes another tragedy. And Audrey already knows the drill.
She compliantly offers Otto the wooden paddle and, like yesterday when she left a butt plug laying around, he thumps her in the ass and pops open another brand of beer.
