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If you live in Los Angeles, you probably know who Myles L. Berman is.

Attorney Myles L. is a drunk driving specialist. His ads are on radio and in the LA Times. I don’t know if the great Martin Cutler out of San Diego, who’s repping Mr. Marcus in a frivolous syphilis lawsuit handles DUI cases, but in the event that Mr. Marcus needs representation, well, there’s Myles L.

Taking a page out of the Martin Cutler playbook, I can already offer Myles L. a couple of sure fire defense strategies for Mr. Marcus. Free of charge, I might add because I’m a fan. Not of Marcus’ but Myles L.

You may find this hard to believe, but alcohol in disproportionate amounts has been known to supplement vitamin deficiencies. And in some studies which I’m sure AVN’s Mark Kernes is sure to dismiss, it’s also been known to miraculously cure keratosis which Marcus was also blaming for the conditions of his penis at the time he rammed it into Lylith Lavey’s mouth.

Better yet, I say Diane Duke and Christian Mann hold a fundraiser for their boy Mr. Marcus to help defray Myles L.’s expenses because I’m sure he doesn’t come cheap.