Porn Valley- Mike and Craig of the XXX Church were guests on the Dr. Susan Block Show Saturday night. Check that. Guests is an inappropirate word. They were more like invitees to a lynch party. Using a tad bit of sarcasm, Block announced that she was going to have a couple of "missionaries" on her show. Block suggested that someone escort her guests over to her. "They're obviously having trouble crossing the Congo River."
Block, who holds court on a bed like Cleopatra, told the duo that being on the show was a test of their resolve. The segment from that point on got totally out of control.
"Are you fakes? Are you afraid?!!" screamed Block's in-house Torquemada, Brother Dave. "Are you anti-pornography? Step on the bed!! Step on the bed, brother. They're afraid. They're running away. These fakes are running away!!!! You're killing people with your crosses!!! Step on the bed and talk, motherfuckers!!!"
In the good cop, bad cop scenario, Block said they didn't have to get on the bed if they didn't want to.
"Nobody's going to hurt you boys," Block told them like a doting nanny. "Nobody's going to touch you. Don't you worry." Block told these guys they weren't really guests if they didn't approach the inner circle. "But it's okay." Shayna Knight volunteered to "play" with Mike and Craig who didn't seem too enthusiastic to respond in a carnal way. "We don't have AIDS," she yelled.
Mike and Craig said they came to talk, but it was hard with so many people surrounding them. It was suggested that all the women which included Shayna Knight and Annie Body put their bras on.
"I appreciate you men- you're kind of like boys- but you're men of the church," Block continued. "You are interested in porn. You have a point of view on porn that I strongly disagree with." Block said she was giving them a forum to express their views on sexuality but it soon became the Roman forum with toga party mob behavior soon prevailing. As if she really wanted to hear what they had to say, Block asked what their philosophies of sex, love and life were.
"Our idea on sex is that God created sex," said Craig. "It's supposed to be enjoyed and it's a great thing. Our ministry and the things we do at www.xxxchurch.com is talking about some of the downfalls of pornography- how a lot of people get addicted to pornography, how it's impacting kids and children, helping parents know about some of the issues that are going on with sexuality and pornography. That's what we are- in a nutshell- about." Block asked why they walk in the lion's den all the time, so to speak.
"You guys say you're afraid of all this sex exposure but you're at Erotica L.A.; you're here, you're there. You really immerse yourselves in porn." Mike said that was because they need to get out of the building.
"The church is not supposed to be a building where people come and here a message about God," he said. "For a XXX Church, we're at least trying to get out there with people that are dealing with pornography. We find those people at porn shows. We feel part of the issues and the solutions is working together with the industry and the people in the industry to create solutions that are going to help people that need help that are maybe addicted, that maybe their kids shouldn't be looking at this stuff."
Block flipped the guys off. "I don't agree with any of your solutions," she said. "I only think it's nice to find guys of the church that aren't trying to shut down all the pornographers, and they're at least trying to communicate with us. I appreciate that. And your website's kind of funny. You have a sense of humor. I think you guys are out for publicity and promotion. But, hey, we're all whores out here in the world!!" To which attack dog Brother Dave began yelling something about them being exploiters.
Block asked if they didn't feel that religion has killed a lot more people than just a free open attitude about sexuality, like pornography. Then, with the wave of a burning poker stick, Block's show became the very Spanish Inquisition she had just adjudicated against in her comment before. Voices trampled over one another to make their points. "Don't you think that porn helps people to express that ANIMAL side of themselves so they won't be violent??!!" Block screamed.
You're the doctor," Mike and Craig told her. Making her very point, Block then began yelling about how religion stirs people up to fight and make wars. Mike and Craig said they weren't there to talk about religion.
"What are you here to talk about?" Brother Dave asked them. "Your website?"
Block said she thought so. "They're big promo guys." Annie Body started talking about how porn can be used in a good way, that she never had an orgasm until she started watching it.
Block, raising her voice another octave, asked Mike and Craig what they thought about a good Christian couple watching a good porn movie to improve their sex life.
"I don't think they need it," they responded. Block asked what if they do need it. Mike said people often bring porn into the marriage as an aid with it becoming a substitute. "We know so many guys that would rather look at porn..." But Block wouldn't let him continue to talk. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," she mocked. "Well food can be a substitute for love, too, but that doesn't mean we should all starve!!!"
"There's a definite place for porn," chimed in Annie Body. She continued to say something else, but everyone was talking all at once. "Who wants to have the same sex every day?" she wanted to know.
Mike and Craig said the XXXChurch was not about shutting down the porn industry. [Didn't Ashcroft's people say that on 60 Minutes?] "We are offering another point of view, and letting people decide for themselves whether porn is good or bad," said Craig. "We're just the other voice."
"Hey, asshole!!" Brother Dave began yelling. "Hey, asshole, look at me!! I'm 60 years old. You don't know what the fuck you're doing and you're fakes. You don't know nothing about Jesus. Jesus was fucking Mary, asshole!!! Take these guys out!!!"
Mike and Craig calmly asked if they were good to go. Block said they were invited to stay. The Block crowd began yelling blasphemies at Mike and Craig stating that Jesus crossed the road because he was nailed to the chickens.
