Porn Valley- As your kids, your step kids, your foster kids or illegitimate kids open those special presents today wrapped in pretty paper and pretty ribbons of blue, take a moment to reflect.

As their little eyes gaze upon you in a what the fuck moment of betrayal because you stiffed them on that gift they wanted so badly because some deadbeat didn’t pay you what they owed you this year, just remember. It’s Christmas. And those very same deadbeats next door are sniffling mucous from the coke their nostrils vacuumed up like Red Devil carpet cleaners, and they’re watching their big screen TV’s and driving their luxury cars and their kids, or more likely, illegitimate kids from a cheap one-night union with a male porn star, are enjoying the gifts you weren’t able to provide your own.

They’re having a great day. And it’s on your dime.