Porn Valley- Another downside of having your hard drive being nuked is discovering that your digital camera’s copying programs all go up in smoke along with it. So until I can deal with that situation I’ll limp along for another day. I was at Brian and Cytherea’s this morning for the start of her new series titled Female Ejaculation Nation, Volume 1, and immediately I’m reminded of the Tarantino movie Pulp Fiction.

Brian was serving a good cup of coffee. A damn good cup of coffee, I might add. But something’s missing. Oh, it’s Kat. Kat had assured Brian the night before that she’d be there. But the Kat’s apparently out of the bag. She’s a no-show, even though Naughty Modeling had also sworn she’d be there.

So Cytherea fills in to do a scene with Randy Spears. Cytherea suggests some ideas and Brian tells her to do what she wants, that she owns the company. The plot has something to do with Cytherea luring John West into a web of reverse bukkake promises, and all the girls in the cast, of course, gush. Spears? He gushes all the time. Still smiling. Still showing those teeth with weathered facial features to frame the portrait. As teeth go, I was telling Brian about a Mitch Spinelli shoot in which Kat’s braces caught on Scott Nails’ dick. Owwww.

Brian remembered a story of when he was a kid and how his folks kept a trampoline in the backyard. Apparently one of his friends was fucking a girl on it, so Brian and his crew decided to drop out of tree on to the trampoline, paratrooper style, to scare the shit out of them. Except in the excitement, the girl caught her braces on the trampoline and the bouncing bodies made her a proverbial fish fighting the hook.

During some downtime, Spears is telling me how he got caught up in the Nicole London drama on my website. Spears said he’s worked a number of times for London and made doubly sure he got paid. He thinks other talent weren’t as lucky. Spears met London’s former partner, Jay Andrews last year and suspects that Andrews probably got out while the getting was good. I asked about the drama between him and his ex-wife Danielle Rodgers. Spears said, yup, there’s still drama, that having kids [10 and 12] are an inevitable part of it. Spears said he had been supporting Rodgers who’s now apparently painting houses but thinks the support situation is about to come to an end.

Spears was also telling someone a story that he had shot a movie for Video Team which Roy Karch directed, though Spears had something of a time collecting his check. When he called Video Team to ask about it, he was told, ala Nicole London, that the check had gone out in the mail six days earlier. Sensing some b.s., Spears decided to pay a visit and said Chris Mann was cool about the situation and had a check cut immediately for him.

Brian’s telling me that he’s got over 100 years tech experience, combined, on the shoot, including Henri Pachard, but jokes about the crew guys coming up with a makeshift coffee can for a C-light. Hey, it’s the 10 billion dollar porn industry. And, again, maybe that was the coffee I was drinking.

Dick Tracey, who will be working with a performer named Domino, slept overnight at the house. Brian explains that Tracey had some love drama the night before and Brian figured it would be better to have Dick under his nose then deal with the fallout. Trent Tesoro’s also supposed to be working with Venus. I’ve got a hunch that I don’t want to miss that one, especially after all of Tesoro’s bullshit with Ashley Blue.

Pachard remembers the time he got a blowjob at the Playboy Mansion- evidently as a reward for winning Best Director in 1980 when the AFAA was still giving those out. Pachard’s actual award was sent in the mail to him and broke. It was a plaster of Paris equivalent of a bronze one used for show during the actual awards ceremony. Spears is talking about the time he shot for Pachard in San Francisco and was supposed to work with Alicia Monet who was apparently flirting with him on the plane ride up. Spears says he and Monet got so worked up and decided to get it on the night before the shoot and fucked each other silly at the Alvarado Motel. But by the time it got for him to do the pop shot in the scene the next day, he was blowing smoke rings out of his dick.

Spears asks if I’ve heard from Samantha Strong, noting that he and Strong literally defined melodrama at the time they were seeing one another. I remember Strong inviting me up to her hotel room in Vegas during one of the conventions, and, had I gone, I would have walked into one of the most infamous scenes ever recorded in adult industry gossip. Spears explains what happened, that Strong caught him with Nina Hartley sitting on his lap. Spears said it was all innocent but that Strong had stormed up to their room. Spears followed and as soon as he walked through the door, Strong blindsided him with a telephone. Spears evidently tossed it back at her and wound up shattering a mirror over the bed. Strong then began yelling rape at the top of her lungs, and Spears was thrown in jail.

I hear from one of her former roadies that Chasey Lain was always good for a tossed telephone during a brat moment, and Spears tells me he saw Chasey driving around in Kevin Beech’s car the day before.

I hear a rumor that at the Penthouse talent call last week, some girls wound up ineligible because the machine used to scan the ID’s wasn’t programmed to accept out of state ID’s. Driver’s licenses, yes. But out of state ID’s didn’t register.

I also heard that Alex Sanders almost died a couple of weeks ago, that his appendix ruptured in the middle of the night and he had to be rushed to the hospital.

Brian’s also telling me what a prima donna Marylin Starr used to be and how she required blueberry bagels, or was it muffins on the set. Either way, Starr would be a pain in the ass about it. Me, bagel or muffins wash down with a damn good cup of coffee.