Jessica Darlin posts at: www.jessicadarlinxxx.com: To whom it may concern, there was always questions in my head of what was to come next? The sexual energy you saw documented was an honest expression of who I was. What was to happen to a girl who exploited herself to this degree? Let me try and explain. People knew me as a tough bitch who didn’t come off as a floozy fuck toy or a whore on a PR mission.

Everyone knows that I shunned the thought of whoring myself for feature dance money. I wasn’t going to try and make a quick buck. I wasn’t going to try and get famous. I knew shortly after making some decisions in this business that it was INFAMY that would become a bigger part than FAME! I wasn’t going to do it any way but MINE! I had a clear vision of my time in this business. Yes-my vision would soon get blurry but I never went blind. Yes-my backbone would bend every which way in this business but it never broke! The truth is that while I was young, contracted, in demand, and thirsty I was fighting more demons than any other time in my life.

I’ve done interviews that chronicled what my life was like at the beginning. Now I’ll slowly but surely let you know what it was like at the end. I learned the ropes through trial and error. After what’s happened to some girls in this business I’m just glad to be alive right now to tell you about the business I once loved. I’m not going to be like some of these born again whores who has a fall from grace and all of a sudden she recalls a horrid past. What she’s not telling you is how the phone stopped ringing. Her calls to companies that used to book her weren’t answered. She forgets to tell you about the toll the drugs took on her. The extra weight that brought her crashing down. The girls that bad mouth this business on the way out are the majority. There really isn’t a soft landing from our lives. They didn’t realize that their mind was attached to the pussy they rented out. The guilt, the disease, and the trauma leave behind a broken soul.

I’m fortunate enough to know that the phone kept ringing for me. I just chose not to pick it up anymore. The drugs were an experiment and the money was never the driving force. The things that haunt me were derived from decisions that I made without recourse. What I didn’t see was the effect it would have on my life, my health, my marriage, and my future.

This website has the potential to be bigger than ever. I’m now completely retired and have been for months now. That means the reservations that I had in exposing people in this business are all GONE! I will tell you what really goes on in this business. I’ll give names and tell you the motives that drive them! If you thought that remarks I’ve made on this site were controversial you haven’t seen shit yet! My webmaster was nice enough to write a column in my journal that would lead you to believe that there was a cock and a camera in my life lately. I understand that he wanted to appease the members of the site and bring in potential newbees. He said that I had done a bunch of work for Metro. It’s not true but I endorse Metro’s product for giving me the opportunity to do this site. If you support one you basically support them all right? NO-There’s a mass quantity of product but so few are done well. From the violent to the soft core this business is a blur now. When I was leaving I looked back at the state the business was in and I feared what waited for the girls who followed me.

What they are going to have to do to survive will drastically decrease the life span for these girls. This is a fresh meat business so If they don’t take care of themselves they’ll be gone so quick that no one will remember their name! I always wonder what impact if any I had while I was performing? If my tenor in this business is to be forgotten than the words I leave behind will dame sure not be! I want there to be a shit storm -a- brewing wondering who’s about to be dragged behind the truck! I’ll be back in mid December to take some well deserved rest and enjoy the holidays.

In a not so festive moment I will give you some candid thoughts about my life past, present, and future. I’m going to address this business. The people I’ve worked for and with. I’m going to give you the events that led up to my retirement. I’m going to let you know about the nasty little rumors about where I grew up and who makes up my inner circle! I’m going to follow up on some of my political rants and will open a wound with a P.A turned website spinner. I will expose him for who he really is.

I will expose the motives that fuel his unwarranted-one sided attack that left me vengeful until election day! LOL I want to give you my REAL thoughts about the interracial scenes I did and the idea of race mixing in general. (You’ll want to read that one-LOL) I will give you and informed breakdown of the racial hypocrisy that floats over my race/religeon. I’ll break down the music that is my life and the weaknesses that is popular music. Lets just say that when I shop for music I don’t look on the album covers to see what looks cool.-lol- I’ll break down the before mentioned Extreme Associates meltdown and the fortunate break-up. I’ll break down the treatment of women in this business, the people who hate them, and the motives behind it. I’ll make sure to fair and balance it with the hypocrisy that is the FEMALE sex worker as well. I will name names behind the best and worst scenes that i’ve done and what really happens before that little red light comes on. Hell cometh and I’m bringing it! —–

J fucking D

P.S-Since i’m in the honest mood I want to clear up a bad pr decision. This is my way of carving TRUTH into my forearm. When I was coming back to this business and launching my site I chose to cut all ties publicly. Even though every filthy thing I ever did on camera was while I was married I chose to publicly denounce my marriage. Under others advice the thought was that guys would feel closer to me without the old ball and chain. The truth is that if i’m attracted to you we can FUCK anytime married or not. I’ve been with my husband for over 11 years now. The last couple of years have been the best of our marriage. I even practiced monogamy for a couple minutes. LOL-My husband has taken care of me every step of the way during my health issues and i’m proud to say that I feel better than ever w/ the understanding that my condition will one day kill me. For now i’m living it up! Some of my fans believing that I wasn’t married wrote me and said that they would marry me because their health insurance would cover me as their wife. You know who you are and i’ll always love that gesture. That’s the good human being that you rarely associate with porn. Thanks for all the support guys!