Porn Valley- Skeeter Kerkove's telling me that Mike Ramone directed a movie for Robert Hill releasing. It was shot at Skeeter's house over the Memorial Day weekend, Skeeter being the cameraman on the shoot.
"Sunday was the Mike Ramone shoot," says Skeeter. "My house has never been so totalled from the experience. I spent at least seven hours cleaning up."
"Angela Stone [pictured] was on a couch," Skeeter explains. "I don't know exactly how long her squirt was but before it hit my wall, it went six feet high. There's a mark on my wall right now. She did that squirt from 13 feet away. I brought in the black leather couches because with my $3000 couches, I didn't want nobody to mess with. No porn's been on them and I don't want it. Man, did she have to squirt. It went up in about a six foot high arch and landed on my orange wall.
"Otto Bauer's pants which were about 13 feet away were literally soaked from the water that ran down the wall," he continues. "I'm not exaggerating. The C-light shorted out. I had to get another one. No human being could hold this much fluid at one shot and then eject it. I went back on the tape. The squirt is 64 seconds long."
[Otto confirmed this on his own shoot Tuesday but thinks he may have seen a blast to top that one. According to Otto, Cytherea once arced a shot that went over the 12 foot high beams in Barry Woods' house and soaked Clive McLean on the other side of the room. But on volume, says Otto, Stone's shot Sunday was one for the books.]
According to Skeeter, "a boatload of Crisco vegetable oil" was also severely used on Sandra Romain.
"She did three scenes back to back to back with such incredible vengeance it was unbelievable- you know how good Sandra Romain is. And I don't know how it happens, bro, but every time I see her, her ass just gets better. It was a little more jacked out and a little more flawless."
"Then there was this new 92-pound girl named Natalia- she was a real trouper and has these big dick sucking lips considering her size. She was so dedicated that during times of trouble she was doing the C-lights for me while performing. Sandra Romain also held the C-light a few times during her own scene. They were all LA Direct Model girls and all gave their all and were incredible. And Jenner was also off the hook. He and Otto just tore things up. As a pornographer I greatly enjoyed myself."
Another casuality of the shoot, says Skeeter, was a 200-pound outdoor glass table.
"Someone bumped into it accidentally. It was in mutliple pieces all over my back yard. I just wanted to pay someone to clean it up. I didn't want to deal with it. There was so much shredded glass. One of the pieces that broke was so big, it couldn't even fit in the trash can."
During the shoot, Skeeter tried a .7 wide angle lens.
"It weighs about 3 1/3 pounds," he says. "It was unbelievable how much it brought in without distorting it too much. It's a $1200 lens that costs $40 a day to rent. But it really made a neat difference. I also learned a couple of new things that made me a better pornographer. I learned that from baby oil I could fall on my ass running into position, land on my back and right elbow and not lose the shot. I stayed right in focus. But the oil made the floor super slick."
Skeeter tells me there was also "a French man" who was on the set.
"The French don't generally like Americans," continues Skeeter. "I asked him why is it that a lot of French people generally don't like Americans. You know what he said to me? 'Hah!' and walked away."
"Who was this guy?" I ask Skeeter.
"Just some new guy who plays a sub," Skeeter replies. "He gets his ass whipped in the movie. He kept sneaking off to the side of my house in these Speedos. I go check this out, bro, you can't be out there. It's fuckin' Memorial Day. I don't want my neighbors to see you. You've got to stay out of possible view of neighbors. This guy's a little tart, he might be like 140 pounds but compared to Scott Lyons, he'd be a Lee Stone."
According to Skeeter, the French man in Speedos licked the toilet bowl and rim after every girl and guy on the set shit in it.
"You know about enemas? Girls got to do an enema before they get sodomized. If they don't they're going to have a Sierra Sinn issue."
Skeeter heard that Van Nuys studio had to throw the couch away after Sinn got through with it on the recent lesbian bukkake, featuring Sierra. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=22822.
"The owner of the studio [Marko] said it had to go," said Skeeter. "R Dawg said it was the most putrid, horrific smell he ever encountered. He did not appreciate the putrid smell of the diarrhea-scat shower. But as Sierra was quoted: 'I'm here to redeem myself.'"
