Porn Valley- Skeeter Kerkove climbed out of his hole, saw his shadow and decided that he was going to shoot three movies simultaneously with less than six weeks of winter.
And you would have gotten a sample of that manual and physical dexterity on Tuesday. Skeeter, artfully balancing call times and porn stars in makeup chairs, wrapped up the all-girl movie for Robert Hill Releasing, www.roberthillreleasing.com which he started last week; shot a scene for a creampie movie gracefully titled, I Eat Cum Out of My Ass; and had Davia Ardell take it up the butt for a big boob movie that's likely to have the word tits in the title. But that wasn't the end of Skeeter's day. He was only warming up and had a couple more scenes on the docket including one featuring Kelly Wells.
Wells and Skeeter are locking lips and doing a reenactment of a love scene in Fatal Attraction. They're flirting, lip locking, grab-assing and bumping off Skeeter's multi-colored walls in a game of human Jai A'lai. But this has got nothing to do with the script. This is reality porn. Earlier, Skeeter's watching a segment on Fox News about the Johnny Cash tour. You've got to be pretty popular to be dead and still have a tour. Skeeter thinks he might have a tour after he's dead and then belts out a little of I Walk The Line. Skeeter, who's got a pretty good singing voice, shot Julian St. Jox the other day and reveals that St. Jox, himself and Max Hardcore, www.maxhardcore.com are half-brothers by different mothers.
"We're keeping it on the down-low," Skeeter smiles. But the fact that Skeeter's full of shit has nothing to do with the spinning of a good yarn. Skeeter also says St. Jox fucked-to-cum twice [most guys in scenes pop by jacking off] and rendered full pops each time, which is pretty good he thinks.
For those of savory appetite persuasion, Skeeter also produces a bag of "de-pooped shrimp" out of the freezer and says this is for later.
Skeeter's also convinced that people would pay to see him do a d.p. scene with Maury Povich. The word also on the set is that Audrey Hollander just wrapped up her directorial debut- Passionate Love.
And passion is what Skeeter's going for in a scene between Brooke Haven and Jezebelle Bond. Two of the prettiest women in porn together in one scene- the mind conjures the possibilities. This will wrap up the all-girl movie. Bond's dressed like a Sno-bunny, which makes sense, because she just got back from Denver where she was signing at a sex expo.
"Very cold, very tiring but very profitable," Bond says of her three days there. Brooke's wearing boots that lift her foot arches a couple of feet off terra firma. Bond's footwear looks a little cramped and she's dying to take them off after the scene. Skeeter tells Bond her outfit was worn one other time- by Ariana Jollee- in a Private movie, assuming, naturally, that he had it dry cleaned since then.
Skeeter reminisces about another movie when Scott Lyons did a scene with a girl and came inside her- then runs off. Tony T does a stand-in for the pop shot. Meanwhile, Skeeter thinks Lyons has disappeared except Lyons, who's thin enough to squeeze through cargo ship portholes, is hiding in the bathroom like a kid who just wet the bed. According to Skeeter, Lyons will often times cum inside a girl whether the situation warrants it or not. And for another historical porn record of note, Skeeter first shaved his head September 25, 1999.
Although he no longer looks like the Sun Valley equivalent of Evan Seinfeld, Skeeter still loves getting video footage of girls smoking, and Jezebelle Bond remembers being inspired to nicotine from watching the vampire film, The Hunger. And whenever she's hungry, Bond embraces bread and cheese. Brooke Haven offers me a cinnamon gummy bear.
"You can eat gummy bears and still do anal," Brooke notes.
The gummy bears are the color of Haven's boots and matching leather bustoer. For the scene, Brooke sticks a butt plug in her behind and says that sticking something in her ass gives her character.
"That's the funniest thing I've ever heard," Bond roars.
Brooke's been specializing in soundbites lately and mentions the fact that she sneezed the other day with a guy in her ass and popped him out.
"Lube me up," warns Brooke who remembers another time she had a bad experience with a butt plug. Haven wasn't using lube, the butt plug was ripped out of her ass and she had hemorrhoids for a week. But for this occasion, Skeeter tells Haven she'll be so relaxed that she'll forget the plug's in her ass. Bond, however, is quite aware that Brooke's going down on her as the scene begins and responds with spasmic reflexes to the touch of Brooke's tongue. Bond's vaginal tract is running tight so something of a smaller sized sex toy is considered for taking a spin in her. Skeeter's looking at the bigger dong and thinks Derek's probably got it beat for size.
"I don't know about that," says Brooke, considering that this dong is pretty mammoth.
"He is [bigger]," Skeeter assures her, bringing perhaps too much personal knowledge to the debate. Haven and Bond then share both ends of the dong like happy dopers with a hookah pipe.
The idea of a pile driver in a "romantic" scene is similar to a manure truck being driven through an occupied honeymoon suite. As the recipient, Haven's game but warns Skeeter she might get the "shakey-shakes." To get the shot, Skeeter negotiates absurd minuet and Gainsborough Blue Boy poses to hold balance with his camera. But he gets the angle he needs
"This is what dreams are made of," Skeeter's heard muttering to himself.
