> Taylor Rain posts on www.lukeford.com: SO, what the hell, I'm an agent now. I'm retired from performing, so I have time to do that shit! SO last night Kelly Erikson and I got to talkin about it and YA SURE lets start our own agency! We even sent someone to get the paperwork to be a licensed and bonded agent. WOW, 2 retired pornchicks looking to do something to keep them busy. So as of last night "The Modeling Matrix" was founded.
We need to be licensed and bonded to take care of Nates wheenie!!! Did anyone ever see the video of me putting Nates dick in a hotdog bun with ketchup and mustard???
Ok, so seriously, if you're talent and would like to be represented by Taylor Rain and Kelly Erikson just send me an email to [email protected] and I'll call you. Send me some pics too and Kelly and I will arrange to meet up with you and start getting you work.
Who better to do this??? Kelly Erikson and me have been in porn for 5 years all together and we know everyone. We know every director, we know all the studios, we know company owners, we know mainstream people as well, we know all the magazines and OH YA we have the incredible publicity machine called LUKEFORD. Between the two of us we can pick up the phone and get anyone we represent work. AND WE WON'T MAKE YOU CRY AND WE WON'T CASH YOUR CHECKS AND WE WON'T STICK OUR HANDS IN EVERYONE POCKET!!!
Like I said, Kelly and I know how to hustle, we know all the right people. So, if your talent or want to be talent, just email me and we'll hook you up!!
> Fayner Posts on www.lukeford.com: I was chatting on the phone earlier with a porno chick. I know, lucky me. We were both eating at the time, her at he house and me at mine. I decided to try and gross her out so she'd lose her appetite.
"You know Steve Holmes?" I asked.
"The porno guy from Europe? Yeah, I know him."
"Well, he likes to lick off the cum he blows on the chick after a scene. Pretty gross, huh?"
"You think that is gross!?? One time on set he kept asking me if I'd piss in his mouth. No way! I told him. Later he was banging on the bathroom door while I'm taking a shit, and he comes in and basically pushes me off the toilet and reaches in and takes out my shit and puts it in his mout That is pretty gross!"
"Shit," I said. "I just lost my appetite."
> Willie D posts on www.xxxporntalk.com: Porn seminars: Sunday night...on C-SPAN2, there was a seminar of Pamela Paul's book "Pornified," which favors regulaton of porn. 'Seminar' is academic codetalk for "mouth diarrhea," and this was no exception. The only thing they found out is that the didn't find out anything, like one giant stupid Möbius Strip. I thought NYU students would be a little more lucid when trying to talk about every twenty-something's favorite topic (sex), but these Catherine Orenstein wannabes could muster no better than a "I've got 15 comments and a question," followed by 2 minutes of half-sentences they thought they remembered from their favorite professor's lecture last week. 'um, like, the anachronistic agency developed in, like, couples porn supercedes the..." Fuck you idiots.
It doesn't help that this obscenity-laced discussion was on "government TV," either. The federales go after a smut peddler, and then let some writer get off his "big black cocks" and "anal sex this...anal sex that" comments. All C-SPAN does is to throw up a graphic 5 second later saying, You may find some of this offensive. What the Fuck, Chuck?Ron Jeremy, master debater: The Hedgehog was due to make another appearance at a local college to deplore his porn career choice. I don't know how Ron got on the speaking circuit but I know where it got big: the Oxford Debating Union. Ron and a bunch of limeys rehashing all the old (bad) porn jokes as they decided whether or not porn was bad for you (umm...NO). I remember being on the debate team in high school, it sucked. After you finished all you regular homework, you had to do your debate team homework. Debaters believe that almost every facet of humanity ultimately leads to nuclear warfare. Ron trading words with some Oxford prick is about as watchable as his porn from 1984 onward...or his 2 a.m. ExtenZe commercials.
Bridgette back out/Kami back in: Shouldn't this be the other way around? Maybe it will in a few months, but this juxtaposition sucks. Bridgette, the lying sack of shit that she is, ought to own up to her porn life and maximize it. Weren't we calling her the 'anal queen' a few years back? She's the early 2000s anal-porn version of John the Baptist. Until Rachel Luv comes back and plays her role of "donkey punchette," this is one of the last legends/archetypes we have. Why should Bridgette find religion when Kami Andrews, who admits she's got the spark of a used up Delco FreedomLite, tries to get back in front of the camera? I've never seen her directorial work, but I've seen her pre-porn/in-porn pictures and the drugs have exacted a heavy toll. If she wants to be an internet poster...fine...she's good at it. But either get behind the camera or out of the biz. Maybe in between scenes someone can 'splain you how to open a checking account.
JC's Girls. These "religious" women were seen at AEE on each of the four days. Did these allegedly devoted whores remember that that weekend was the Solemnity of the Epiphany, and a Holy Day of Obligation (i.e., no work and mandatory mass)? Padre Stone, I'm guessing you did not hear their confessions that weekend. Whatever, I'd still fuck those sinners.
