Porn Valley- Director Vince Voss must stay awake at night figuring countless ways to torment Anthony Hardwood. Hardwood was on the set of Defiance/Torrid's Latin Obsession 2 Thursday afternoon, working with Daisy. Voss learns that Hardwood just came from a Rick Davis set, and that's all he has to hear.
Besides cracks about his manhood and his small penis, Voss begins riding Hardwood, calling him "strugglewood" when Anthony takes a little longer to arrive at the pop shot.
"I not strugglink," protests Hardwood.
"Oh, sure," mutters Voss. "He gives Rick Davis the scene of the day, and he gives me bullshit."
Sarcasm doing the salsa by this time, Voss is telling Hardwood that it's imperative they get Daisy out of there by four.
"She's doing a gangbang with the Lakers," Voss explains. Laughing, Daisy tells Voss to go fuck himself. Voss wonders if Daisy's getting a new car. "What's Jerry [Buss] buying you this time?" he wonders. It sounds like a Mercedes from Daisy's answer.
But with all the small talk, Hardwood's now puzzling over the newly minted dick comments.
"Vie you guys keep sayink dat?" Hardwood wonders, thinking that his penis is rather formidable. Voss tells him, it's okay, that it's adequate and that's nothing to be ashamed about. Hardwood is told that guys in Asia would kill to have dicks like his, that over there he'd be known as "Godzirra".
Voss, who's shooting a tranny movie starting next week, then explains to Hardwood how certain guys push their balls in to give the illusion of their dicks appearing bigger. He says Anthony tends to do that - probably subconsciously. Not even realizing he's doing it, Hardwood pushes his balls in. Voss is roaring as if to prove his point. "That's the key sign," he tells Hardwood.
During her scene with Hardwood, Daisy's screaming like a couple of banditos chasing a stagecoach in Sonora. She might have been yelling Viva Zapata in her sexual tirade, but I can't swear to it. One of the words Daisy keeps repeating, however, is "cingato". That means fuck, she says.
Voss then asks Hardwood to fish hook Daisy.
"Vat is dis feesh hook?" Hardwood wants to know. Apparenly Hardwood never heard the term for hooking your fingers in the corners of a girl's mouth.
The joke of the day so far is Voss wondering who's going to walk into his shot next. Taylor Rain, who's getting ready for a New York trip, was doing a good job.
Then Lisa Anne from L.A. Direct Models arrives on a go-see with two new blonds who do the compulsory strip down in the living room. Photog Tod Todd, who's walking like a man with a 20 pound bag of shit in his pants, takes some snaps. I thought it was a little strange to begin with when Todd was having his wrist massaged by a man, earlier. But Todd explains that it's all homeopathic and, weirdly enough, has to do with his injured ankle. Then he tells some story about his car keys and a roof of a house which sounds like Todd fell off of.
Then the carpet cleaner guys arrive, and Voss throws his hands up in the air, like, what the fuck. Voss suspects it'll be the refrigerator guys next then reminds Anthony Simone how Simone paid 300 bucks to have his coils blown and the thing still isn't running properly.
Daisy mentions that she fucked one time in front of pool cleaners and asks me if I was on the set the last time she answered the door naked for the pizza guy. Saw it and wrote about it, I tell her. Taylor Rain gives each of the carpet guys, who are obviously Latino, copies of the first Latin Obsession DVD. Pablo and the other guy appear to be a tad uneasy about the circumstances, but Voss tells them, it's okay- they can watch him shoot. Voss, however, warns Simone against being talked into the Scotchguard.
"The sanitizer, yeah," says Voss. "But don't let them sell you on the Scotchguard."
It was the Scotch part that got Sascha, though. Sascha, who for a brief time was married to Michelle Maylene, did an earlier scene with Tiffany Taylor. He's slugging down water like a drought was in the forecast. Sascha is taking the week off which to him is working one scene a day. And he's complaining that he's dehydrated.
You gather from what Finch, the PM is saying, that he and Sascha were out all hours the night before. Sascha explains that he got through it by taking hangover pills but asks if I'd go easy on the booze comments. No problem. I wouldn't even think of mentioning how three winos were feeding intravenously off him during his scene with Taylor. Sascha's playing with her boobies.
"He's so cute," says Taylor, who certainly knows how to characterize delirium in her scenes. At least for 35 minutes, Taylor is Latina. But neither is Sascha wearing a sombrero so I guess this lapse of verisimilitude is permissible. I ask Finch, correct me if I'm wrong, but Taylor's not of the south of the border persuasion. Finch says, that's okay, they may bill her as Tiffany Gonzalez on the boxcover.
I believe he's joking.
