Porn Valley- If I were director Robert Hunington I’d be slightly upset. Perhaps slightly mortified. You see, Hunington’s wife is Nicole London, a woman who’s gaining fast notoriety as the adult industry’s premier deadbeat and has pretty much torched the reputation of her company. Or somebody’s company because I’m pretty sure it ain’t hers. Though London has a few thousand dollars to go to catch up with Skeeter Kerkove’s deadbeat, she nevertheless subscribes to the deadbeat play book. Innocent face, promised checks, guaranteed meetings and an escape route that could accommodate a 500-pound fat lady.

But Hunington’s personal situation with London may have changed in the past few weeks. Who knows. London, in bitch voice, recently left a message on her answering machine declaring that if anyone was looking for him [Hunington] he no longer lived at their residence. But yet I heard Hunington’s voice clearly in the background just last week when London swore up and down to me that she was fetching a check that she’d give me personally. Was London’s voice message a ploy to get creditors off Hunington’s own back? Or perhaps a sleazier scenario was unfolding – Hunington fucking around and being caught? Nevertheless, with Hunington as an aide-de-camp, London told me she’d hand deliver a check last Tuesday but in London-speak that probably meant when hell freezes over.

However you slice this loaf of drama, if I were Hunington right about now, I’d be shitting bricks as my attempt to establish a reputation in the business is being flushed down the toilet by my old lady who brings shit storms into the household like Lucille Ball did on I Love Lucy.

Hunington, who I’ve met on a couple of occasions, strikes me on the surface as a decent guy. Pretty creative, pretty resourceful and evidently someone who hustles to pay the family food bill by taking extra shooting gigs. Hunington, in fact, works a lot for Vivid, especially Paul Thomas. Yet one has to suspect that Vivid can’t be paying Hunington a living wage judging by his wife’s fast aversion to signing checks.

Then, again, all this may be a brilliantly staged framus with Hunington being Butch Cassidy to London’s Sundance Kid. Because Hunington- as I found out- is a Zane. A cousin or something like that. But a Zane. And if you know anything about the history of this business, dealings at the Zane company took on whole different levels of meaning. Especially when it came to the term, square deal.