"Scoobie doobie-do, dee scoobie doobie, scoobie doobie, do...Frank Sinatra
Porn Valley- It took some effort on his part, but Skooby, who heads up Fresh Talent Management, went from being listed on the scrolls of the anonymous [not counting Quasarman's old website] to becoming Adultfyi's primo deadbeat for 2005.
And by doing so, Skooby wins the prestigious 1st Annual Nicole Award, named after Nicole London a woman whose business repertoire included more variations on the check-is-the-mail theme than the fabled Charles Ponzi, author of the celebrated Ponzi Scheme.
Skooby's victory, based on a cul de sac of broken promises, was by no means a sure-thing in a field that included some top contenders and major bullshit artists. But his climb through the ranks was sure and steady beginning with a series of confrontations earlier this year with a real estate broker named Kerv over rights to a porn house in Encino. Skooby's argument on his own behalf was convincing as well as his insistence upon victimization from several of the female talent in his stable including Kara Mynor a woman he describes as one prone to hiding under beds and stealing men's shoes.
I hadn't seen Skooby in a long time but ran into him this summer on a Defiance shoot. My grandmother would describe him as "such a nice young man" with clean-cut looks and sincerity that drips like a candle in an Italian restaurant wine bottle.
It was on this occasion that Skooby said he wanted to take a banner on Adultfyi and I gave him some prices. He said it sounded good and that he'd get back to me. Of course he didn't get back to me, and I wrote his gestures off as an all show but no go posturing. Then I ran into him again on another Defiance set. Skooby said he was still going to do the deal and that he'd be back to me within a day or two. This time I called him, and he didn't return my call. Then I ran into him a third time on a Norman Bentley shoot for Defiance several weeks ago and Skooby said, yup, he was doing the deal for sure and would call me within a day.
When that didn't happen, I left a cynical message for him stating that I was hanging by the phone waiting for his call and was sure I must have missed it when I took a shit. Skooby called right back and said to e-mail him an invoice and he'll send a check. I waited a week, but the check never arrived, so I e-mailed Skooby a link to a Nicole London story and pleaded [cynically] not to let this happen to him for Godsake. With balls as big as a fighter's swollen fist, Skooby called, agreeing that London was an infamous deadbeat and asked for a deal on top of the deal- half now, half later and said he'd be sending a check out that afternoon. I waited for an appropriate time for the check, such as it was, to arrive. It never did. I did send Skooby one last e-mail basically asking what happened. That went unanswered.
Second place goes to Pleasure Productions also known as IVD Distributors, a company widely renowned for its thorough promptness in mailing checks and squaring up accounts. I received an e-mail months ago stating that the company was interested in banner space and could I provide them with some prices which I did. I contacted the gentleman whose name escapes me and asked was this okay. I was told they'd be taking a banner but heard nothing. A month or two goes by, and I get contacted by another person, Michelle Reister. Same drill. I'm asked for prices, provide them accordingly and wait for an appropriate time to call. Reister tells me they're going to take a banner the following Monday. When I hear nothing from them, I e-mail Reister except with no response. I call and leave a message for her. No response. A couple of weeks go by and I get Reister on the phone and she's giving me the yamina-yamina about how difficult it is to get to Frank [Koretsky] because he's always in meetings, but, get this, Reister says she left a post-it on Frank's door. Ah, the post-it on Frank's door- I'm as good as in. But I wasn't. Follow up e-mails to Reister never got the courtesy of a response.
Third place in the deadbeat honor roles goes to a company apparently specializing in VOD, called XFlix which is located in Glendale, California - a little off the beaten porn path to be sure. I'm told that these guys are interested in advertising and that I should give them a call. I speak to Ghevont one of the owners [I surmise] and he suggests that we get together for lunch. But the deal is to meet them in Glendale- a trip that pretty much washes out half my working day. I meet Ghevont [who looks like Treat Williams] and his partner Shahan at a restaurant of their choice which includes delicacies from the Mideast as you might gather from the names Ghevont and Shahan. Ghevont and Shahan give me a story about how their company is every bit as good as AEBN.
So I'm sitting there eating through my hummus, and I'm getting grilled for info as though this were a Congressional sub-committee. Then, after all this, Shahan wants to go for the cheapest price on the Adultfyi menu but wants to re-direct traffic off my site to his in the bargain. Ah, I don't think so, and I tell them why I don't think this is going to happen in the near future [unless they want to buy me out]. In any event, Shahan make some noise that he wants their banner going up by the following Monday which comes and goes. I contact Ghevont, and he starts telling me about their DSL line being down, but he says give him until the following week. Which I do. Then I get a story about a third partner who operates out of Oregon, which is intriguing but irrelevant as far as I'm concerned, which is to say another reason for a delaying tactic. Ghevont then e-mails me to tell me it's going to take, yet, another couple of weeks and what for.
In the meantime, I sell the banner space to someone else. Deal concluded: five minutes. Time wasted with Ghevont and Shahan, priceless.
And now for the runners-up:
story in progress
