Porn Valley- The team of Brian Pumper and Julian St. Jox were about to slip their ebony cocks into the asshole of Nicki Hunter when Skeeter Kerkove, bloodhound that he is, gets whiff of a scent. You could could tell that Skeeter, www.bkmax.com, could tell something was wrong.
Skeeter, who can hear someone pissing on his bathroom floor 1,700 yards downwind, is switching off his camera and moving towards his front door. He walks quietly outside. I hear him talking to someone. I’m thinking it’s the neighbors. I hear the word “complaint” being mentioned. But it ain’t the neighbors. There’s a black & white parked out in Skeeter’s driveway.
Apparently someone’s been cop calling. In fact, someone’s been cop calling all over the adult industry, and it happened a lot last week. This time it happened on Skeeter’s set, and the cops- a man/woman team- are telling Skeeter they’re hearing bawdy stories about underage girls and drugs. A lady cop walks into the house, and those with outstanding warrants are already out the window.
Pumper’s standing there naked, Pumper, a handsome man in a Will Smith kind of way, but handsomer than Smith with a trimmed beard, thick muscles and ass cheeks like party balloons, Pumper’s cock dangling. St. Jox, who’s been in the business 14 years, standing there, likewise. Naked. What are the cops going to bust him for? Sized up against Pumper, for what, non-compliance of bodybuilding statutes? And, Nicki Hunter, semi-naked, makeup running, practicing double anal without a license?
The lady cop’s embarrassed. You can tell. Practically apologizing now, telling Skeeter they have to check the ID’s of the female performers but Skeeter’s already half way home. The cops know this is a bullshit roust, but the lady cop explains they have to proceed this way, Pumper standing there, nonchalant, giving the lady cop an eyeful of a naked black man, the lady cop laughing nervously.
In minutes everyone’s laughing. Like all a big joke. The two cops are very cool, explaining this is how they have to proceed on a complaint, hope everyone understands, etc. Five minutes later the cops are gone and Pumper/St. Jox are deep inside Hunter’s ass. Skeeter, his arms thick with tattoos, is talking about the last time the cops paid him a call. Bridgette Kerkove was taking it in the ass from Jay Ashley and Ben English. Skeeter also remembers another time the cops paid him a call. Except he wound up doing three years. Tells that story, something about a trumped up co-conspiracy issue on a drug buy, winds up cutting hair in prison.
But this is how Skeeter establishes personal timelines. By porn scenes. I can tell you about a baseball game at Connie Mack Stadium in 1957, Don Drysdale shutting out the Phillies and Robin Roberts, 5-0, Carl Furillo and Duke Snider hitting home runs. Skeeter will tell you about a gangbang in the Hollywood Hills, six years and two months ago involving Bridgette Kerkove, with Marc Anthony anchoring a double anal round table discussion. Skeeter starts telling you who the cameraman was. Stuff like that.
“But cops can really slow down a shoot,” Skeeter is saying in a reflective moment. “They throw a wrench in your program.”
The cops coming around, though, is indicative of the kind of day it’s been so far. Since 10 pm the night before, Skeeter’s been dealing with performer issues- except it’s the guys calling this time, canceling. Loads of Chlamydia and gonorrhea going around, and it’s a ball buster casting a double-anal movie which Skeeter is shooting for Lurid Entertainment. Few male performers can function well in the capacity of dick chafing, anal intimacy.
Alex Sanders is supposed to be working for Skeeter, but Skeeter’s getting wind that Sanders doesn’t want to be doing double anals any more. Perhaps he’s found God. Skeeter saying, if this is true, than Sanders can’t work for him any more. With Skeeter, if you’re in for a penny, you’re in for a pound. All of which probably explains why Tony T, yo, is working for Skeeter, Tony T as far from conventionally handsome as Mel Gibson’s from conventionally homely. But Tony T’s a maniac. Yo, Tony T whips that baseball cap off he’s wearing sideways and Randy Moss instantly appears, Tony T’s hair a similar coiled spring, giving him a Wild Man from Borneo look. Tony T’s pacing around, rubbing his balls like a snorting bull. Wants to jump right in there and do double anal.
Meanwhile, Skeeter’s telling a Bridgette Kerkove story- about the time she was taking Mandingo in the ass at the Tuxford house- on a Mitch Spinelli shoot, Spinelli apparently telling her, when she attempted to reach for one, that the sandwiches were for crew only. Otto Bauer’s going, no way, bro. That Mitch had to have been kidding, that this doesn’t sound like Mitch, Skeeter saying, nevertheless, that Bridgette was so traumatized he had to take her to a Subway sandwich place. Otto’s still going, no way. Not Mitch. I’m thinking the same thing.
Otto’s double teaming with Tony T in a scene with Kelly Fuckin’ Wells. Everybody loves Wells, Wells from Las Vegas, going home this weekend to visit her family. Hasn’t been home in three weeks. Other than that, there’s no rules with Kelly Fuckin’ Wells, Skeeter is saying. Wells is saying something about her fantasy- that she wants someone to piss in her mouth. She’s told maybe she should consider working for JM Productions. Otto chuckles. He’s reminded of Lauren Phoenix making a speech at AVN, thanking people in the industry for allowing her to make a ton of money off of her asshole.
Otto and Tony instantly swarm all over Wells, hair flying everywhere. Like an explosion in a Rogaine plant. Tony’s going to town on Wells’ ass, grimacing like Mark McGwire at a Congressional steroid hearing. Skeeter thinking to himself, this kid’s pretty good, knows how to sell a scene. Wells, who ain’t too shabby, either, at the art of the sale, is inclined to say things to the effect that she’s a semen receptacle, a dirty little fuckin’ bitch-whore, that her sole purpose in life is to serve men and that she should have two dicks in her ass.
Tony T’s soliciting gapes from Wells that can be seen with a telescope from the planet Saturn. Skeeter’s saying over and over how tickled he is with this scene.
Tony T’s later telling me that he’s still trying to work things out with Anabolic https://adultfyi.com/read.aspx?ID=8552, that things need to be put in writing, that things need to get resolved, says that he had a man-to-man with Chris the owner of the company a few days ago. Otto’s saying he likes working with Tony T, that Tony T brings an amazing energy to a scene.
I tell Tony I’m hearing things like he’s a terrorist and has terrorist connections. He laughs. He tells me he may have a few more things to say about those people who are saying those things. Then I glance over at Skeeter who looks like someone just rode a plane into his building. He’s having a chat with Trent Tesoro, and it’s not going well from what I gather, Skeeter lambasting Tesoro for something. That something being about Tesoro’s test, Skeeter asking him how the fuck long has he been in the business, Skeeter telling Tesoro you produce the test I’ll produce the check, Tesoro giving Skeeter an honest, I swear speech- a speech that could just as well have been extended into the scene which features him Steve French and Tiffany Holiday.
That’s because Tesoro’s having a bad day. Then, again, Holiday was having a bad week, evidently. Skeeter, introducing her on camera, announces that Holiday got arrested and incarcerated. Something about an automobile accident. I’m asking Skeeter if he knows anything more about this, Skeeter shrugging his shoulders, like, this is all he knows.
Steve French is also a handsome guy. Looks like a 1950’s TV star, but handsome, alone, ain’t adding market value to this scene. French, whose name bespeaks his nationality, later admits he’s a bad anchor, Skeeter telling French and Tesoro he’s got four seconds of double anal so far, would they like to try for six. “You guys decide how you’re gonna do it,” Skeeter, summing it up. “The other guys did it.” Skeeter, glowering like a pissed off Mexican at a cockfight, Skeeter telling you that he’s shot more double anals than anyone in porn. “Times ten,” he adds. And he ain’t about to let this scene tank.
There’s something of a stare down. French squints. His abs squint. Skeeter squints. Tesoro squints. It’s like a scene out of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. But, in the manner of Amarillo Slim, Skeeter manages to raise a dead hand to a good one.
Pumper’s saying something to Holiday – like, would she hold to a past promise and let him smell her ass before she leaves, Pumper, with strut and swagger, talking up a storm asking people if they would buy a movie of his called Nut in My Black Butt. Someone tells Pumper, yeah, to put it under a wheel of a truck. Skeeter feels like a review of one of his movies got put under the same wheel. He’s telling Julian St. Jox that his scene with Venus and Sledgehammer [who just married Katja Kassin] is beyond insane but that it’s getting written off as by the numbers interracial fare. Which, of course, prompts Skeeter to another timeline anecdote about a black performer named Rocco who literally manhandled Bridgette Kerkove in a scene two years ago, Skeeter saying can you imagine anyone doing that.
St. Jox, who was born in Long Island and moved to Baton Rouge at the age of nine, says those kinds of sleights don’t matter to him any more and suspects that porn writers are probably tired of writing about him. St. Jox is telling me that he’s dealing with a lot of family issues right now, that his grandfather just died and he’s been in Louisiana dealing with that whole thing.
While Nicki Hunter’s doing her first double anal, St. Jox is telling me his first was years ago in Budapest. All the while, I’m figuring Pumper to be wearing about thirty minutes worth of jewelry- the time estimated for him to remove all his neck chains and finger rings, so he can fuck Hunter in her ass, Pumper really giving Hunter the verbal commands during the scene.
In a scene that stands on little formality or manners, St. Jox makes scant conversation, allowing his dick to do most of the talking. Meanwhile Hunter, who’s making open-mouth cock noises as though she’s drowning in a basin of soap suds, is yammering back and forth with Pumper. Hunter’s chatting up her ghetto booty, and Pumper’s calling her a white trash whore who hangs out at dumpsters for some black dick to arrive. Namely, his. Pumper’s telling Hunter to suck his balls. “I’m a horny guy who sits at home dreaming of holes like this,” says Pumper.
Which is pretty much the way I’ve always thought of the 18th tee at Pebble Beach. St. Jox goes deep in Nicki’s shit box. St. Jox in the box, if you will. Pumper informs her that he’ll, likewise, plug her shitter. “I’m a shit plugger- let me poke your toilet hole.” Skeeter’s telling St. Jox and Pumper, who’ll work another scene with Katja Kassin and Jay Lassiter, they certainly could have given the white boys from the scene previous a lesson.
St. Jox is curious to ask Hunter after the scene why she didn’t let out any blood curdling pain screams and all that, given that this was her first double anal. Hunter’s saying just because you didn’t hear it, who’s to say she didn’t do it. Like the tree falling in a forest kind of thing. Which prompts photographer-in-demand Ben Hoffman to relate a story about how on one of his first shoots for John Bowen, Bowen hired some deaf girl.
“They fucked her in the ass for three hours- there was crap all over the place,” says Hoffman, wincing at the notion, Hoffman saying he took the gig at the time because he needed the money. Not like now where he’s in a position to turn down work. Then, again, maybe if you were to ask Skeeter at this precise moment, a similar question, he’d say the same thing.
“I don’t know if I’d want to do five double-anal scenes again,” Skeeter’s saying. But Katja Kassin’s practically begging to get her scene started. Wants to be fucked with two dicks in her big German butt real bad. So hold that thought.