Porn Valley- You generally hear some of the best AEE stories after the fact. Such was the case on KSEX, www.ksexradio.com Wednesday night when Wankus had Tyler Faith on board as the evening’s co-ho. Faith was subbing for Michelle Lay who evidently was dealing with mudslides.

A caller-in began exchanging AEE stories with Wankus, and Wankus brought up Jayna, the girl who supposedly looks like a young Pamela Peaks. “They got the same fuckin’ look,” said Wankus. “It’s really scary. They’re both very nice people- Pam and Jayna. I hate to say this, but what’s wrong, it looks like Pam could actually do something about it. Pam could take off the wig and all that makeup and the fake tanning lotion and actually somewhat be a slightly normal person. But Jayna’s kind of naturally that ways.” Faith offered the observation that doctors can do remarkable things these days.

“Whatever doctor worked on Devan or Tawny [Roberts] didn’t do a good job, “Wankus replied. “I’ll say it again. Devan from D.P. used to be a hot chick but she’s scary.” Asked what happened to her, Wankus offered the opinion that Devan now looks like a duck. Faith said she would have to agree. “I’m sorry. I know no one likes to talk shit but she did too much,” said Faith. Wankus didn’t think it wasn’t a matter of too much as opposed to someone having fucked up. “She got bill. And the nose- is that a nose job or coke?”

On the subject of Mary Carey, Wankus said after the red carpet, he, Daisy and Chloe were hungry. “I was excited because last year they had this good little buffet-thing: chicken, stuff like that.” Faith said she didn’t see any food. Wankus said that was because Mary Carey walked through the line.

“You’re not going to see any food when she’s there!” Faith said she and Jill Kelly were starving as well. “I tell you all the time,” said Wankus. “When you’re booked to work with Mary Carey in a scene and you want to take advantage of the catering on set, get there first. I’m telling you.”

Wankus mentioned that Carey came on the red carpet to be interviewed and in his best Mary Carey voice gave his version of Carey’s interview, AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!! Wankus!!!! You’re mad at me because I did an interview with E.T., not you. I got rid of no neck and I got Chlamydia, AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!” Wankus hastened to remind Carey that because of her stints on Leno she represents the porn community. “Will you please try to take your head out of the Pink Flamingo trailer? No, Mary, no. Hannah Harper’s like her best friend. Why? You’re a nice, beautiful classy girl.”

Wankus said he tries his best to show respect to Mary Carey “But I can’t. And every time I see her she’s bigger and more naked! Mary, you’re like the reason why they made all those spandex jokes way back when. Stop! Wear a sweatshirt! Do scenes with shirts on. And then she was walking around the award show floor going up to tables, ‘ANYONE got any COKE?!’ She was going around table to table. Jeezus, you’re doing that much coke, why the fuck do you look like that? You should be as skinny as shit. Move on to speed!”

Wankus said he was trying to be nice. “KSEX doesn’t endorse it, but if you’re fat and you do do it [coke], do speed.” Faith attempting to play good cop in the good cop-bad cop scenario, assumed Carey might have been thirsty and looking for a Coke. “She might have just ate a bun.” Wankus said it was more like Carey was walking around with Wonder Bread trucks in her stomach. “But she’s very nice.”

Faith couldn’t remember what Carey was wearing.

“A hammock,” Wankus volunteered.

“Did she have a dress on?” Faith asked.

“You couldn’t see it,” said Wankus. “You had to throw powder on her to find the wet spot.”

A couple of years ago, according to Wankus, Carey called to hang out. “She wouldn’t say let’s fuck or anything, but she was asking to hang out. Then she never called back. Then she called three days later, ‘I’m awful sorry I didn’t call you. I have Chlamydia.’ And she had something else. Dude, why are you telling me all this shit? How about sorry I didn’t get back to you, what’s going on. I don’t need all the detail.”

Faith advised Wankus about not talking too soon, that there could always be a romantic scenario of Wankus and Carey walking on the beach, “Chasing after a pizza boy.”